Boy Unknown

Boy Unknown

A Poem by Sunny
"

his flaws make him perfect

"
The flaws hide a pure heart
Untouched by the wrongs of your past

Your eyes dance with a child like mischief
Of the boy you once were

The smile hides a pain
That even you can't run from

Boy unknown
Please let me know you

© 2010 Sunny


Author's Note

Sunny
i was originally going to make this longer. how does this length sound?

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Reviews

I thinks its simplicity contributes to the eloquence of the piece.
~M

Posted 8 Years Ago


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Bee
I think the length was perfect. It adds more mystery to the 'boy unknown'. The message was conveyed clearly, and I believe that once you've said what you wanted to say, you should stop. 0.o unless there's something else you want say that would make this poem more wonderful than it already is? :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Nah its pretty cool. i dont rate anyones writing because i dont think i am capable to do so. I can say infact that i like the depth it creates.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is a very nice, very heartfelt poem. I would warn however to heed the words of Maya Angelou ...

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think the length is fine. The message is very clear and the feeling comes across very well in the amount of words that you used. Nice work.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Length is ok. Nice message.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Many people hide behind mistakes or fear of disappointment. Very difficult to revive a beaten soul. I like the movement and story you create with your words. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

nice work, I would add more. Great job, keep on writing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I think that this could be lengthened.. I was actually going to recommend adding more even before I saw your Author's Note.
Overall, I think that this was good, but could be made longer, with more description and character building. c:
Good job.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I favor the lenght~ the brevity empowers the poetic with the genuine intent to know another~ well done~

Posted 9 Years Ago



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10 Reviews
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Added on June 30, 2010
Last Updated on June 30, 2010

Author

Sunny
Sunny

Lauderdale Lakes, FL



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I'm a woman now. I'm finally freed. I write a blog feel free to check it out http://bedivined.blogspot.com/ more..

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