The Memories...

Poetry

      You plant your smile in my mind and your love in my heart...we smile under he stars...and cry in the rain...walk along the silent roads...an escape beyond the midnight horizon...your lips form words i can understand...'i love you...'my lungs gasp for air...my lips tremble for words i can verbalize...we lock eyes click heels and move along...step by step...hill by hill...smile after smile...as the memories get sweeter and their glares get darker and darker...the words pour out their mouths like poison beneath our skin...

Reviews

[Nick Reynolds]

I like this poem; however, in saying that I do have to criticize the form. I do not like using "yur" for "your" and "yu" for "you". That's just a personal preference. In addition, I would really like to see this arranged more verse by verse. I feel like it would make it easier on the eyes and the ellipses make it difficult to want to continue reading. It makes you seem either unsure of what to write next or extreme pauses. Neither of which I think you want implied. On the other hand, the emotions portrayed are fantastic and I hope you keep up the good writing!