SESSIONS

my therapist told me today
that she never realized
how much I thought about dying
and I felt surprised
that after four years
she never saw death my eyes
because when I look in the mirror
all I find is an image of mortality
reflected back at me

I stared at the dilapidated life
the ruins and relics of myself
sagging under the crushing weight
of everyday life
trying to remember a time
where it wasn’t all so heavy

I found myself unable to recall
living without this pressure
compacting my existence
into densely packed emptiness
that somehow fills everything
despite being nothing but a void
I respond to my therapist
“well, it’s not anything new”

she said she was worried about me
and I apologized to her
because if I could
I would fade away into nothing
and never be a problem
for anybody ever again

I would flee this living nightmare
and find a dream somewhere far away
that offers something lighter
than the oppressive weight of my life

I don’t want to be pinned
under this painful boulder of existence
any longer
but I have to
so I will
one day at a time

Reviews

[Anaisa]

I adore this. There's something beautiful and graceful about your pain. Our pain. Because it's similar to mine. Its gentle. It's sad. Its tiring and ugly. And sometimes you can't breathe and everything is just so heavy. But the artist it brings out in you is extraordinary. Not a fair trade at all, but something to revel in. Something to be proud of. To know that you have touched others with your pain via your work, leaving your own individual mark upon that person is exhilarating. You have touched me.

[Lost]

I am incredibly flattered and grateful that my writing can connect with others. I appreciate your kindness and authenticity. You are refreshing and your perspective seems to be comfortingly parallel to mine :)

[Shikon Akuma Ookami]

Strong Powerful and enlightening are the 3 words that I find best describing this poem. Simply wonderful

[Lost]

Thank you! :)