An Untold Story: My Best Friend Part 2

How I met, lost, and re-introduced myself to a very special person from my point-of-view.

 

          Everything seemed to fall into place. Life was far from perfect, but for some reason it didn’t matter anymore. I found someone who made life worth living. I found something at a very young age that most people spend all of their lives searching for and never find. I was convinced you were my soul mate. No, not that new age “we belong together” crap, but in the purist sense. You fit snuggly in the hole I could never seem to fill and I felt complete. Nothing felt impossible when you were around and for the first time in years the smile I thought I lost returned to me. You were intoxicating and as much as I tried to fool myself, I became addicted to you.

            Then there was the park. The beautiful, cloudless day hid all of the ominous signs of things to come expertly. We walked around for awhile, laughing and joking as always. Nothing seemed to be different from any other day. Then, somehow we managed to talk about things of a more serious nature. I can’t tell you how much I was out of my element. Sure, we’ve talked about our personal lives before but we never went too deep. As I learned and would later regret, it was better if we didn’t speak about it at that moment in time. It seemed we shared a lot more than a love of music, comic books, and an off-color sense of humor. Our “others” didn’t seem to have the understanding we shared and we both felt unappreciated. It was then you told me something I wish I could have unheard. Something so jarring it would eventually tear my perfect world a sunder. “I wish he was more like you.” Famous last words uttered by all friendships doomed to fail.

            As you cried on my shoulder I wish I could tell you I was concerned about your well being, but I’d be lying. Well, I was worried about you; you were my best friend I’ve never seen you so upset. But, deep down the seed of something unwanted took root and my addict began to take a turn for the worse. From that moment I couldn’t get you off my mind. Why did I think of you so much? The words you spoke were simple in nature, but I couldn’t shake them. You wanted him to be more like me. God, why did I cling to that? Maybe my girl wasn’t what I wanted her to be and our struggling relationship left the door open for entertaining such thoughts. Maybe the connection we made allowed you to get closer to me than I should have let you. Or, just maybe, we truly were two parts of a whole.

That’s crazy talk! I knew better than to let such foolish thoughts fill my head. Whenever we talked I played it down and tried not to mention it. I couldn’t, I’d be stupid to ruin something so great. After a few days I felt I was over it and things were getting back to normal. I sighed silently as I began tugging at the root of what was planted weeks ago. It was a forbidden tree and it had no place in my perfect world. As soon as I felt I was close to remove the problematic plant, you said something I couldn’t have imagined you ever say. “I think I feel the same way.” As excited as my heart was, my mind knew better. This wouldn’t work. We were promised to other people and our friendship would never survive the experience.

My mind was in the right place, but my heart was too weak to understand what you, we, were feeling wasn’t right. I understood your feelings were misplaced as were mine. How could you not have feelings for someone you’ve always wished you knew and that “got” you completely? Sadly, you were legally bound to someone and I had my own thing going. The smart thing to do was bury what we felt and spend some time apart until things cooled off. That way, we could still be friends. That was the smart thing to do. But, I knew you were different the day I met you. I knew exploring those feelings to see where the led could destroy owe friendship, but my addiction was too great that I didn’t care. I needed more of you. So I began down the road paved with “Good Intentions” knowing where it would ultimately take me.

Reviews

[Marcie]

Beautiful story, I really Loved it, it's really touching and sweet, and yes we can sometimes be in that situation, or have those feelings, and this is beautifuly written, keep up the great job!