Life,Liberty and the Pursuit of...Honesty?

Life,Liberty and the Pursuit of...Honesty?

A Story by Carol Cashes

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of…Honesty?


The true meaning and intent of honesty is twisted and bastardized by friends, family and loved ones every day.  Don't buy their thinly disguised ulterior-motived lies.

Every time I hear someone say “Hey!  I’m brutally honest” I want to call them out because that is code for hateful.  Just plain petty and hateful.  Honesty is not brutal.  Honesty is a desire to correct or clear away misunderstanding.  Honesty doesn’t hurt, although the truth might.  Honesty isn’t cruel or selective.  Honesty, delivered in the true spirit of everything that it means, is never snide, snarky, spiteful, or different for someone else.

Honesty has never hurt anyone, although the truth/content might sting.  The two are distinct and separate concepts, something small, petty, hateful persons hope you don’t know.

Now you do.  The next time someone proudly (and usually loudly) proclaims their brutal honesty, call them out for the thinly disguised liars they are.

Okay.  I am done.  That is all.

Yes, something happened to me today at a friend’s house.  Well, not to me, but another person who was very hurt by the remarks made and the remarker/liar defended their hateful, awful comments with those three little words.  I was hard pressed to hold my tongue.  I know that ya’ll know me as tell-it-like-it-is person and I am.  What I cannot abide or stomach is deliberate meanness and intentional harm, be it verbal or physical. 

Okay, NOW I’m done.  Bye.      




© 2019 Carol Cashes

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My father had many faults, but he somehow taught my brother and I to be honest. Honesty and truth used to be highly revered in this country, but now, unbelievably, it's under attack. According to some, we shouldn't trust our eyes, ears, and experienced grasp of facts. I don't like liars.

Posted 1 Year Ago

totally agree and I know where you are coming from. the truth can sometimes hurt,

Posted 2 Years Ago

Been there - hate that. I totally get this stellar tirade Carol. I think civility, respect and compassion have gone by the wayside in today’s world- perhaps exemplified by our pompous leaders, hmmm. He bar has been set so low that only snakes in the grass can slither under it. Hopefully, like another strong, honest woman once said, we can choose to “go high”. We must choose to, or we will lose what’s left of our humanity and our children will grow up to follow the cretinous examples that are being set. Great job here my friend!

Posted 2 Years Ago

If i'm being brutally honest, people who say that are usually controversy junkies, who mistake being heard as a personality trait. Back handed compliments and thinking everyone thinks like you isn't an excuse, its mostly a dominance thing and you can only hope they think on and learn from those sudden atmospheric changes around them.
Im no saint either, just recently I learned to say no, instead of "stop bluming the dress porky, when asked if there bum looked big in it. well, I say learned, but it was more or less beaten into me :)

Posted 2 Years Ago

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Well, to be brutally honest, hand on heart (may God strike me down), I've never said a truer word, never, honest, I enjoyed reading your wee " get it off my chest" rantette.
Happy New year Carol.

Posted 2 Years Ago

This is the most brilliant message I've read in months. I am so glad you're back & writing regularly. This is orgasmic, it hits the spot so solidly. I get so sick of people denouncing "PC" (politically correct) as if this hoity-toity inconvenience prevents them from fully expressing their cruelty toward others. I can't even get started on this topic right now. But I admire you for being able to say all this without doing so in an abrasive way. This is truly a persuasive argument for simple honest kindness (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Years Ago

Carol Cashes

2 Years Ago

I was still really mad when I wrote that. I couln't avenge my friend who was humiliated by this sma.. read more
They are very separate concepts. But trying to educate someone who claims their "brutal honesty" might be a fools errand. Maybe just a swift punch in the nose. And I don't think I've ever heard the phrase "brutally truthful"... might be a nice sentiment in politicians. For me CC, when in the course of conversation someone says: "well, to be honest with you..."... I pretty much know they're either lying or not being honest. It's a kind of tell. To me, truth can be confirmed by facts, and honesty needs a consistency of actions. And still, when throwing in the human variable, all bets are off. hahaha, and I enjoyed your write thoroughly.

Posted 2 Years Ago

Carol Cashes

2 Years Ago

I'm laughing now, but I was mad. This person threw out private information in a group of people, th.. read more

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7 Reviews
Added on January 2, 2019
Last Updated on January 2, 2019


Carol Cashes
Carol Cashes

Biloxi, MS

I'm very cynical, jaded, just this side of bitter and the only reason I haven't crossed that line is a good man loves me. I am extremely empathetic, but seldom sympathetic. I can be a ferociously lo.. more..


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