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A Story by Carol Cashes

Maybe after the Holidays?



*The first two months after my mother’s death and the burial of her and all my siblings I was numb, detached, possibly shell shocked.  The last two months I have been “ghosting” grief" :  by nurturing and devoting most of my time to a renewed interest in music and the politics of our current society:  gender, free speech, feminism, racism, etc.*

I am appalled and horrified at the level of ignorance and intolerance of today’s college students, and am only slightly surprised at the willful ignorance of (too many!) adults.  I remember college as an open forum where the free exchange of ideas and theories and opinions was considered vital to rounding out your academic education and the expectation was that you would discard those abhorrent to your values and, after pursuing the FACTS regarding information that intrigued or troubled you, form opinions based on logic and reason.  It was a time of smoky pubs, cheap pitchers of beer and days-long debates about the pros and cons of everything from the best pizza to the world economy or politics punctuated by varying degrees of drug and sex experimentation; a time of embracing or abandoning religious beliefs and of course, finding your true calling and adjusting majors and minors to facilitate your goals.

Hmmm…okay, I have onions...I need eggs, milk…look!  Shrimp’s on sale, perfect gumbo size, too…Oh!  Mama’s traditional Christmas Eve gumbo…NO!

Oxford University, you know, that centuries-old super prestigious establishment located in England, adopted a ban on clapping.  Clapping…as in forcefully smacking your palms together quickly to show approval of a performance or a speaker’s words.  The evil act of clapping has been replaced with “jazz hands”: arms up and back and forth movement of the hands and fingers.  Why?  Because there are approximately 3.5 (or less--I’m being generous) percent of the population who have noise-triggered anxiety and it is apparently all of our job and responsibility to ensure that all legal adults--not under another’s guardianship, and who are considered competent to conduct their own affairs--feel safe…not the reasonable expectation of safety in public places, but the new “safe”:  not stressed… or upset…or triggered…or expected to ensure their own survival and well-being in this big, cold world…*blink…blink*  Oxford…I’ll let that sink in….

Is that the Eagles?  Desperado?  Leah loved that song…NO!

I am reluctant to use labels that, in the past, I would have used to ensure clarification of which side of an issue I was referring to.  However, I have noticed that “liberal” and “conservative” are no longer terms used determine which point of view/perspective/belief someone might be associated with, but beginning a debate or discussion, (and by that I mean heated argument), by addressing or labeling your “opponent” as one or the other is a blatant attempt to bias the readers/listeners with pre-conceived opinions about that person.  All conservatives are not Trump supporters and religious zealots and all liberals are not socialists and abortionists.  I have watched video clip after video clip of grown-a*s people screeching at the top of their lungs at anyone who dares to offer an opposing or even slightly different point of view.  When reason and facts are removed from discussion and replaced with emotion (usually accompanied by spittle) and misinformation or any factual information, you have created an atmosphere of intolerance and hate.  I cannot understand how the irony escapes someone who claims to be championing an oppressed faction of society or the “rights” of certain individuals can be moved to red-faced name calling and even violence that far exceeds what they declare the opposition to their cause is guilty of.

 Damn!  I should have cleared out this bookcase a long time ago…aww, look! Mama’s books on quilting…NO!

Which brings me to the art of debate and it’s disappearance in public forums.  Debate requires assertion of facts, countered by the opposition, point by point, with other facts, and the “audience” can come their own conclusions.  You know…weighing the veracity of each sides’ statements, deciding whose argument was more compelling and arriving at an informed, logical and reasonable  opinion.  That’s not what I’ve been seeing lately.  I see assertion of “facts”, maybe a valid rebuttal, but more often than not, one side is going to go rogue…off point,  loudly and dramatically.  There is an assumption that the ignorant masses also have short attention spans and that within thirty minutes we, the masses, will be passionately supporting an ideal or cause that wasn’t even on the agenda! I resent and am offended by these tactics employed by too many  “experts”, politicians, and speakers and who have too damn many letters after their names to justify use of such tactics to win a debate.  I immediately (and scornfully!) dismiss their entire platform/cause because I can only assume that they cannot validate their position and must rely on redirection and distraction…in other words, they’re completely full of s**t.  And that is my logical, reasonable and informed opinion…



© 2019 Carol Cashes

Author's Note

Carol Cashes
Flexin' and stretchin' lazy writing muscles....

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Hi Miz Carol! I get this so much. I wish you strength, peace and love. Sending blessings your way. xo

Posted 3 Years Ago

glad that you're still writing you haven't spoken to me in so long drop me a message to let me know you still know that im alive

Posted 3 Years Ago

wow! am i happy to see you ....right here at the Cafe, Carol!! ;)
oh i love your "Ghosting Grief Part 1" and already am looking forward to Part 2 ;)) ... you are not alone in your "opinion" ... more and more of even the most radical of "sides" are seeing the destructive nature of our so called debates ... how quickly they go from one or two facts to attacking the character and integrity of anyone with an opposing view ... my opinion ... our Democratic Party as a whole are the most proficient at it and have been using the tactic for decades ... i call it .. " oh...look over there .. at the shiny thing in the corner" ... i also throw the whole wad out ... baby and all ... staying informed these days requires watching live hearing and proceedings in government .. and doing homework on those who represent us .. and reading actual available transcripts ... the news sucks big time bias ... there are no anchors ... only jaded editorialists ... ok.... i'm done now ;} thanks for your commentary ... love it ...

Posted 3 Years Ago

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3 Reviews
Added on November 13, 2019
Last Updated on November 13, 2019


Carol Cashes
Carol Cashes

Biloxi, MS

I'm very cynical, jaded, just this side of bitter and the only reason I haven't crossed that line is a good man loves me. I am extremely empathetic, but seldom sympathetic. I can be a ferociously lo.. more..

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