There Lingers Dignity

Attempting a sonnet

For now cascading branches greet the sun

whose kind embrace grows weaker by each day.

With courage leaves like artists on trapeze,

cling fast to brushwood tendrils as they sway.

Soon greenery will tire of this dance

as creeping gold replaces verdant hues.

The splendour of the change the season brings,

a wealth to match a velvet sky of blue.

Such elegance on show for all to see,

short-lived before the jealous winds take rage,

to steal the foliage left upon our birch

ensuring all remains an empty stage.

Yet even in its naked form to me,

this tree surpasses all in dignity.

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

I would say this is more than an attempt at a sonnet. Being primarily a writer of free verse, I have always admired those with the discipline and patience to construct these exquisite pieces. Here we have an excellent example of the Shakespearean sonnet, 14 lines of iambic pentameter. The subject is impermanence as exemplified by the changing seasons. The last two lines express the poem's meaning, which I take to be the rightness of life despite its seeming fragility. It might even be a metaphor for the sonnet itself, an old form which continues to move readers despite the pervasiveness of more modern styles. Well done.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for your excellent review. Yes, sonnets are quite difficult and need a good deal of patience and practice. I don't write them often, but it's good to know that I am not afraid of trying anymore.

[Neville]

I have never dared to attempt one of these .. but I know a good un when I come across it .. and this, I assure you is a good un .. Neville

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Neville. One of my first posts on here, out for an airing. I haven’t tried one of these for a long time. They aren’t easy to do. Stella is the Queen of these:)

Chris

[Neville]

you are most welcome & ta for the tip :)

[Richard🖌]

Ahhh, Chris Dear 🍁

Such beautifully laid sentiments dance all through every line of your excellently aspiring Sonnet effort, filled with striking metaphor, lovely imagery, touching emotion, all in poetic voice any poetess or poet would admire and enjoy … I know I have. : )
The English [Shakespearean] Sonnet is broadly considered by aficionados to be the Rolls Royce of poetry, and for good reason. This form's challenging rhyme scheme and intricate rhythm in iambic pentameter places it atop poetry's highest skill level. It is the first poetic form I learned at nine-years-old, and since, I have composed literally thousands and taught it to hundreds.
Your iambs are spot-on, except for L5, which is a beat short, but an easy fix by making it "trite" dance (or, some-such).
You know what they say, "A poem's ever a work in progress." Therefore, there are a number of additional issues (each an easy fix) that will truly make this the fine virtual masterpiece it deserves to be, and I think you'd love for it to be, too. Let me know if you'd like my input, and we'll sort it together … pro bono! 😃

Thank you, ever-so warmly and gratefully, for sharing this charming and deeply meaningful effort of yours, Chris … many happy blessings! ⁓ Richard 🍃

PS: If/when you might find a moment, I would love to receive your take on my humble poem, "The TREE", which your Sonnet reminded me of, and I think you'll appreciate my effort, too … perhaps, as much as I have yours.
https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1550785/

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Richard, thank you so much for another extensive review. I thank you for your suggestion to line 5. I really am not a perfectionist so I am not sure whether I want to invest more time in this write, but I thank you for the kind offer extended. I will take a look at your poem The Tree tomorrow when I have more time. Have a lovely day.

Chris

[BlackPrince]

This is, indeed, a successful attempt at the sonnet form! It is packed with meaning. The rhymes come across natural (which is not always easy to achieve in a sonnet). The overall poem has achieved great rhythm and flow.

Well done!!!

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks for your encouraging review BlackPrince. I don't find sonnets easy, but every now and again, I'll have a go. Your visit most appreciated.

Chris

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A very dignified tribute to that tree indeed Chris and in a crisply edged sonnet filled with the joys of nature's wonderous chaos.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks John for your thoughts. Most appreciated.

Chris

[Nolo Segundo]

Nice-- like John the Baptist, I'm more a free verse guy but I admire the skill that goes into making a good sonnet like this.

[Chris Shaw]

A second visit Nolo. You are spoiling me. Thank you so much.

Chris

[Nolo Segundo]

I don't always leave comments when I visit other poets, Chris, just too little time it seems to get all done that needs doing!

[Chris Shaw]

Then I feel well and truly honoured and thank you Nolo:)

[Jimmy Yetts]

Excellent sonnet, Chris.
A loving, insightful and admirable perspective,
What you had to say simply outshines the form!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Jimmy. I tend to steer away from form these days. Maybe I've spread my wings.

read moreThank you Jimmy. I tend to steer away from form these days. Maybe I've spread my wings.

Chris

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'There Lingers dignity'
Christine Anne Shaw,
Life moves and changes. Your poem is one of change. We do not live without it! This poem is beautiful for it tells of the falling away of youth and vigor but the grace it falls away is precious. Can we do that? Can we grow old and not become brittle and hard.
"The splendor of the change the season brings.
A wealth to match a velvet sky of blue.
such elegance on show for all to see.
short lived before the jealous winds take rage.
to steal the foliage left upon our birch
ensuring all remains an empty stage."
Birches are so lovely and winsome.I do not have a birch but my parents do. I have seen many and find them very cool! Great writing and inspirational.
Blessings to you.
Kathy

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Kathy, I appreciate your visit and the lovely response you left. Thank you so much and blessings to you too.

Chris

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Chris, we are able to learn and identify with one another's writing here. It is surly my pleasure!read moreChris, we are able to learn and identify with one another's writing here. It is surly my pleasure!

[Chris Shaw]

And mine too Kathy.

[barleygirl]

I'm no expert on sonnets, but I thought the rhyme pattern to be: abab cdcd efef gg . . . so this is just a teeny bit off that, otherwise everything checks out. The main thing is that your writing is not stilted like so many sonnets tend to be, overly crafted without the freedom of expression that you show here. I absolutely love the main points of leaves dancing, until the "jealous winds" (brilliant idea) wreak havoc. Your final couplet is the perfect conclusion that a sonnet requires & I love the entire message! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Chris Shaw]

Hello Margie. Thanks for great review. I am no expert on sonnets either and the only way I can tell if I am close, is to speak it out loud and hope that the drum beat is ok.It's as technical as that (lol). Pleased you enjoyed the read.