Dethroned

(country or sea, or maybe both)

Beside the margins of the bay,

the lazy waves creep in to shore.

Yet those who stayed all day to build

have left their castles knowing they

won't see their splendour anymore.

Their towers stand in twilight sand,

await their turn to disappear,

as lap, lap, lap the gentle calm

of graceful fingers capped with lace

are skirting, skirting ever near.

This Ocean beckons me to stray,

dethroned the thoughts of country green.

Salt water gleams displayed for me,

as sequins stitched on fluid black

lend vistas set in lunar sheen.

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed so descriptive of dusk at the seaside (thats ocean to our brothers and sisters across the pond!). A lovely time and I even recall the disappointment as a child when one had take so much trouble to build the sandcastle to see it begin to erode and collapse. Nice flowing rhyming poem.

[Chris Shaw]

Good afternoon John. Oh, the upset as a kid of having to leave your castle to the incoming tide:) Thanks for your review, fellow castle builder.

Chris

[R.E. Ray]

Nature claims its own. And, even when the ocean reclaims the sand, we learn to build again. Time on the beach tells us something about life and death. A beautiful scene here that transports the reader.

[Chris Shaw]

Your thoughts are welcome and appreciated. Tha k you so much for your visit.

Chris

[Robert Trakofler]

Salt water gleams displayed for me,
as sequins stitched on fluid black
lend vistas set in lunar sheen.. boom boom boom rhyming queen!
One day this bunny is gonna sell all of his property and move to the ocean, nothing calls me stronger than the seaside... to my marrow.
I will of course not build my castle to close to the shore but perhaps my construct will be fluid.
This poem speaks to me deeply dear Chris thanks:)

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Bunny it delights me that this poem has a special meaning for you. Many thanks for your welcome visit.

Chris

[Edie Blue Starfish]

It makes me long to be a turtle so that I may have land and sea both.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Starfish. Land and Sea for you then. That's how I feel also. Many thanks for your visit.read moreThank you Starfish. Land and Sea for you then. That's how I feel also. Many thanks for your visit.

Chris

[.]

A lovely descriptive write, Christine...

Coming from a country well known for its beaches, i am an exception to the norm in that the beach never really appealed to me. I would much prefer your dethroned green to the itch of sand that never seems to disappear after a day at the seaside. There is just something more special about rolling hills of green to this reader anyway.

Your poem is very delicately described and creates the scene with fine vocabulary and imagery. Hopefully your green doesn't remain dethroned for long.

A very poetic write with a unique rhyme scheme that just seems to work perfectly.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Doodley. This was one of those very special moments when sea shore ranked higher than the verdant green. It doesn't happen often as I am more than happy in both environments. Your review is very much appreciated. All good wishes.

Chris

[Ted Kniffen]

Sand castles built with grandchildren seem to last longer in the mind. There is something special about spending time at the sea...no matter which side of the pond you're on.
You're poem is a welcome reminder that there is no such thing as wasted time at the ocean.

Thanks, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Building sandcastles with grandchildren is great fun Ted. Many a time I have done that. You are so right. Every minute spent at the sea is worthwhile. Your lovely response much appreciated.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we were all kings and queens when we were younger...and knights protecting the castles we built in the sand...or as don maclean sang..."I'm growing tired of castles in the air"

i want a love that i can share.
such a beautiful, nostalgic poem here.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

How lovely that my lines took you back in time Jacob. I used to love building those castles. I always hoped for a miracle and my castle would still be standing the next day. Sadly not to be. Those were the days.

Chris