Simply An Old Tin

(reworking of an archived poem) Beth age 7

With slim arms outstretched

and within the confines 

of her small cupped palms,

she holds both halves

of an egg shaped tin

contents long gone.

Paisley prettifies the

exterior,

traces of peppered rust line

the interior rim.

She presses both sides together,

smiling at her success.

Her bright eyes shut tight

blocking out the light,

as if this would magic up 

what has been lost.

A momentary silence and then

"This was my Dad's tin,

did he keep his toffees in it?"

No need to wait for a response,

as blue sleeves of her school 

pullover are seized and set to work,

to buff up the faded colours,

to restore the shine,

and bring him back to life.

 

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

This one comes across as a memoir, a recalled moment from a child's life. The child has discovered a tin container now growing rusty with age. She asks if it was a possession of her father. We are told the contents are lost, probably symbolic of the father, who is evidently no longer in the picture. The little girl sets to work buffing the tin with her sleeves, "to restore the shine,/ and bring him back to life." This tells us the father is deceased, and the girl is speaking to his widow, her mother. This is a moving work, and while we feel a certain sadness, we also feel the girl has emerged from the loss undamaged and will face the future whole. Well done. Life can teach us lessons even in seemingly small events.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks John for your thoughtful review. Most appreciated.

Chris

[Lyn Anderson]

the smallest of items can bring back the most powerful memories. flawlessly captured in this piece.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Lyn for your very encouraging review.

Chris

[Lyn Anderson]

I do believe sincere emotion shines through in every piece of yours I read

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you. The sincerity means much :)

[Crosby Idasa]

This is nice, this poem is well composed... I can see you smiling at your success

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Crosby for your kind review. All good wishes to you.

Chris

[Crosby Idasa]

You are welcome

[Weeping willow]

Love the memories of old things from the past, brought back to life to enjoy again. Wonderful write. ;-]

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for reviewing. Much appreciated.

Chris

[Cherrie Palmer]

My goodness what a delight. I am truly blessed from reading this. From the beauty of youth to the luster resyored to a memory.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks for a lovely review Cherrie. Much appreciated.

[Jibey]

Charming and poignant... People often live on in simple objects.

[Chris Shaw]

That is so true and this tin is no exception. A treasure to an older tee ager now. She still buffs it up. Thank you.

Chris

[B]

I maybe very far off
But i felt through your words - this was a moment meant to gather a memory
to be one with something beyond this present moment
Maybe something lost to be regained
A reality beyond a simple object changing in form or shape
I love this piece!!

[Chris Shaw]

I am so happy that you like this piece. Your visit truly appreciated.

Chris

[RuseInex]

love this poem, it inspired something in me, delightful, a poem of my own, to which i ask you to read and enjoy, i hope, entitled, Magic tin, i'll ask for your purview and thanks!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for your review, and I'll be delighted to review your Magic Tin.

Chris

Chris

[RuseInex]

yes, please refer to my profile, i just uploaded it

[Ken Simm.]

Paul Cezanne once said "take a moment in the world and paint it as it is" that is exactly what you have done here. And brought it to life in so many ways. A memory that tells a whole story of many chapters.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Ken, thank you so much for your lovely review. I have written poems about paintings too. It is good to bring things to life and I am also fond of art.

Chris

[Samuel Dickens]

Such a sweet few moments in a precious child's life. The old tin's significance went beyond it's pretty exterior and promised something more, perhaps even a fleeting visit with the child's father. (His spirit, at least) It makes one wonder what the complete story is. Very fine writing, my friend.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Sam for your thoughts and your visit. I am truly grateful for your time. All good wishes.

Chris

[Rye]

This write is so wonderful, really enjoyed this

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Ryanna. Pleased you enjoyed the read.

Chris