As The Crow Flies So Do I

As The Crow Flies So Do I

A Poem by Christine Anne Shaw
"

(missing my mum in a nursing home two hundred miles away)

"
if i curse in verse
would you find it 
out of order?
.
like the borders
of the counties separating
me from my mother?
.
another day, another day
passes and another
no hope for me or
my dearly loved mother
.
sitting in the same old chair
staring at four walls
no visitors allowed
it's the virus you see
two hundred miles away
might as well be three
.
come anyway she says
i don't care if i die
though then i have to explain
and that causes me pain
to tell her i could give
it to others or they could
give it to me
.
conversation on the phone
is stilted unless i do the
talking
.
we are walking on a path
to nowhere it seems
she visits me sometimes
but only in dreams
.
it's easier there, the way
she used to be, dealing with
a fragmented mind
old age is dreadfully unkind
the source of much misery
.
when will i see my mother?
when will i see her again?
maybe you won't
says that inner voice
nagging away, torturing me
maybe, just maybe
you have to accept
that as a reality

© 2020 Christine Anne Shaw


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... every single line well and truly understood and I am sure no one would argue.. these are among the most difficult of times and those fears you outline so eloquently, a global reality.. I wonder whether it makes it easier or worse for you, knowing that your Mum may not fully grasp the true seriousness of the present situation..

Stay safe,

Neville

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

1 Week Ago

Thank you Neville. That's the problem, she doesn't understand and that's why she can't fathom why I .. read more



Reviews

Such a sad commentary of these times in which we live. Your post is so very well written and I feel your pain. I now say a prayer for you and your mother. ~Sharon

Posted 6 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

6 Days Ago

Sharon, so many are in a similar position. I thank you for your kind thoughts and your visit.
.. read more
What an agony this emotional poem expresses dear Chris. Of all the crimes of the current situation, maybe this one is the worst. Yes, curse-because it is cursed to take comfort away from the sick and dying. I am so sorry that a good heart like yours is going through such pain. You suffer more than she does. Your terse, angry lines and heartbreaking questions are so true and so deeply moving. "When will I see my mother..when will I see her again?"-questions shouted by so many, into the void that is now. Inhumane, heinous crimes You voice the despair and the need and the wrath and the helplessness authentically. I wish you strength and comfort my friend. Your mother knows that your heart is with her. Blessings sent to you both and all who are suffering.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

6 Days Ago

Dear Annette you capture my questions and mood so well. So many are in this awful situation at the m.. read more
While life has its rewarding moments, it is also--often--incredibly sad.
Most of us have few answers when true tragedy strikes--especially, when all
our possible solutions seem like blind alleys.
Heartbreaking, Chris; simply, heartbreaking.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

6 Days Ago

So many in similar position Jimmy. A universal theme. Thank you for your understanding. Your visits .. read more
The torture in this poem is in every line, the feeling is so overwhelming, and touching too, this is the Hallmark of a great poem, one that instantly takes you in, and makes you part of the story. Loved it!

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

1 Week Ago

You say the nicest things. I am grateful for your uplifting review on a painful topic for me and als.. read more
Chris, this made me so sad. I could feel your predicament while going through the verses of this poem. I hope you get to see your mother soon. Stay safe.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

1 Week Ago

Dear Fairy, good to see you and thank you so much for those wishes. All the best to you.

read more
Chris, this is one of the saddest pieces written about the awfulness of the hell we're living in. ' Hear this wretched feeling and fear so often on the helpline, reality hits hard.. but acceptance doesn't and it hurts. Will hush for a change and say thank you for.. every word.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

1 Week Ago

Thank you Em. Will be trying to speak to my mum today. That's if she answers her phone. Quite often .. read more
emmajoy

1 Week Ago

Could say more but won't... just sending gentle thoughts.
Christine Anne Shaw

1 Week Ago

Lovely, may your day be awash with them.
a sad sign of the times, Chris but you deal with the subject with your usual tender style and those memories and dreams will out live us mere mortals great poem

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

1 Week Ago

Many thanks gram for calling on this one and leaving your mark on my page. Hope you are ok. Your tho.. read more
Chris, this is a very poignant poem, with a lot of desperation and struggle in it. But also love.Having a barrier there which prevents you from seeing your aging mother is a hardship on both of you. This is so true now as a result of Covid. Families are separated for months with only electronics to see them, hear their voices. It’s terribly frustrating . I can empathize completely. A poem with Unhappy feelings is always hard to read.very well written Chris

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

1 Week Ago

Thank you. I wanted to highlight the problem that many of us have in these dreadful times. A univers.. read more
Betty Hermelee

1 Week Ago

My pleasure!
This is such a sad poem and I'm sorry you have to be separated from your Mom. I really hope this all will end soon and we can get back to our lives. Talking on the phone I'm sure must be so hard for you. Thoughts and prayers to you!

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

1 Week Ago

Thank you Donna for your empathy. So much appreciated.

Chris
No, I fekn wouldn't Chris. Go on, shock the b****y s**t out of us 😀
Such a sad thought to pen, or even think. That confused minds are getting more so, at not being able to make head nor tail of what is going on, and therefore, their lack of memory becomes a double curse when they forget what's going on and have to live the retelling once more, leading to a spiral of confusion that seems to have no end.
Our Nic up here is hinting at hospital visits restarting and possible staggered visiting in care homes too.
I felt your pain at having to explain why you couldn't just come anyway, for fear of bringing it back with you.
You never do feel so dreadfully grown up, as the moment parent/ child role reverses.
Hoping you get to see her again soon Chris.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

1 Week Ago

Thanks Lorry. Yes, so many are confused and the retelling over and over again is painful. Hope thing.. read more

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Added on June 30, 2020
Last Updated on July 1, 2020

Author

Christine Anne Shaw
Christine Anne Shaw

Berkshire, United Kingdom



About
Have been at Writerscafe for a year now, so pleased I made the change to posting my work here. Have loved reading poetry all my life, but never wrote my first poem until I hit 40. I wish now that I.. more..

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