Disenchanted

(reflecting on a once revered place and memory)

shadows fall upon meadow grass

where once from atop a hill

sol burned on rolled bales of hay

.

august baked in noon blaze heat

replete with happiness was i, from

top knot hair to bare soles of feet

.

golden moments to remember

when black crows in random rows

became musical notes of song

.

how this valley sang of summer

from gentle slopes sweeping down

to where death's stain now lingers

.

fingers will forever point to where

a blade in winter flashed cold steel

plunged in anger into tender flesh

.

perpetrators all three doomed

young lives brewing in ruin and one

adolescent mourned in disbelief

.

      grief pervades our valley

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I love so much of the language in this piece:

"when black crows in random rows"

"fingers will forever point to where
a blade in winter flashed cold steel
plunged in anger into tender flesh"

That being said, this is apparently referencing the murder of one child by three others. Such a tragedy for everyone concerned.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Linda. I appreciate your visit and your thoughts.

Chris

[JE Falcon]

A very powerful write, here. And to our dismay, words spoken in sadness, about violence, is always a powerful voice. If not surrounded by it, then the evening news will make us well aware that we live in a dangerous world. --- None the less, poems like yours might tell us that there may be a better way.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much Falcon for your visit and thoughts. This week it was the first anniversary of the death of Ollie. The other three young people have been sentenced. I can no longer walk in this place. It has lost its beauty.

Chris

[Lathen Griffiths]

I was rambling across fields for a while here soaking up the late summer sun and then WHAM!

Totally unexpected, just as violence is very often. Very compelling.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes, where I rambled in delight, I no longer go. This beautiful place is a stain now on my memory. Violence gets everywhere. Thank you Lathe.

Chris

[shadrach hah]

Hi Chris, another strong, powerful write from your pen. What a world we live in today. Death can come from anywhere. Our young are being brainwashed by hate. Such a raw, strong write. We are disenchanted by these times. Another thought-provoking write from your pen. What is life coming to? Hugs always....Mike.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Mike. I am saddened by the violence that prevails today. I did not know this in my younger years. I felt safe then. These days, no one feels safe. Such hatred around. Appreciate you reading.

[shadrach hah]

You are welcome, Chris, you are right, so much hatred around. I wish things were as they were when I was young. Have a wonderful Sunday. Hugs always....Mike.

[Cherrie Palmer]

It is a hard thing when joy and tragedy crowd in the same space.
You did an excellent job expressing this.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Cherrie. Pleased you checked in. You are appreciated.

Chris

[Ted Kniffen]

I pictured a battlefield and a small group of "Tommies" moving against the enemy only to fall to bayonet.
In a way we are living a new battle and losing the fight against the enemy ... youth who have no compunction in killing. Perhaps it is violent video games that make such actions acceptable or maybe poverty enters the picture ... but I think there is too much permissiveness these days and very little control.

Well written Chris ... haunting ... frightening.

Take care.

[Chris Shaw]

We do live in frightening times dear Ted and the Internet in my opinion certainly contributes to the spread of hatred and violence. I am thankful I remember the times before the Internet took its workd wide grip. Be well and keep safe and thank you so much for stopping by. It means alot.

Chris

[Allen Smuckler]

This is an amazing write, Chris. Truly. 1st of all it ebbed and flowed beautifully, and your imagery via metaphors and syntax throughout was awesome. You took me for a ride, Chris. It all felt so beautiful, ethereal if you will...and then suddenly out of nowhere..BAM!, you hit me square between the eyes. Totally unexpected. From summer and valley's song to death stain's lingering presence. So graphic, so succinct, so mournful. You have created a work of art, and that is not hyperbole. Terrific job, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you my friend for your very supportive review. I feel encouraged.

Chris

[Sean M. Addams]

Loved the imagery in this . Lots of emotion and beautifully written. Nice job

[Chris Shaw]

Many thank yous for stopping by and leaving a nice review. All the best.

Chris

[Rye]

very heartfelt piece here, but it is wonderfully written

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Rye for your thoughtful review. You are appreciated.

Chris

[no tell writer]

I really love this write and this stanza....

golden moments to remember
when black crows in random rows
became musical notes of song

When I think of crows I think of sadness, in your write it makes
a wonderful detail, This is ever so lovely...

[Chris Shaw]

There was much sadness here Katzie on a place that was once joy. Thank you fir leaving your valued thoughts.

Chris

[KWP]

A lovely, yet heartfelt poem encasing a myriad of question of wondering the story behind, but, in your words, enough is said and the reader can feel their way from there. You have encapsulated the essence of emotion. What once was is now no longer because lives, in a spilt second can be changed forever. In knowing this we must always be right here right now. In the moment, encased in love.

[Chris Shaw]

Such a local tragedy. The perpetrators of this horror were under 14. Set up by a girl and carried out by two boys. Within fifteen minutes of leaving home a 13 year old boy had been knifed to death. I can't walk my dog there anymore. The area is stained. Thanks KWP for stopping by. Take good care of yourself. X

[KWP]

oh .... how utterly sad for everybody ... how on earth are children raised in such a way they are able to carry our such an act.

Terribly sad.

XXX