Miles Sans Smiles

(when you can't be where you want to be)

in thought flight

i wing westwards

where a cold cruel sea

tirelessly wears me down

in your winter's discontent

how lengthy it has been

how distant your warm smile

that broke ranks from your

much pined countenance

i watch as you breathe

gently into night's quiet

as a rose tinted light

glows softly from a lamp

as shadows are cast

in this far away room

my gloom dissipates

when i see you at rest

the rise and fall of your chest

your skin no longer etched

with unknown anxieties

causing torture

you are at peace

in sleep's embrace

a temporary release perhaps

no trace of fear to haunt

lid covered eyes

no cries as the familiar

turns into a stranger

i leave you with a brow kiss

and a heartfelt plea

don't miss me mum

as much as i miss you

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Chris, you have genuine talent. I know a problem I have (because I'm old and heard too much metric and/or rhyming in school) is being too literal. Your first two lines reminded me of my own difficulties. "in thought flight, i wing westwards"

From the poems I've read in literary journals, the thought you express often is put more like this: thought flying, on westward wing....cold cruel sea pounding tirelessly....I am broken...blah, blah, blah.

I'm not suggesting this for your poem, but wondering if you see in yourself the same kind of problem I find in my work?

There is literal and then there is suggestion - and then there is poetry. I don't know where I fall on that continuum but too close to literal, for sure.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for your visit. To be honest, I go with the muse. If it comes out literal, then that's the way the cookie crumbles. Some of my stuff is truly poetic, some of it a mix of both. I guess it depends on my mood at the time and what I'm thinking about. I'm not seeking perfection or fame, I just write. Sometimes I make a consciousv effort to stay away from the first person, but if I've got something to say, it is difficult to stifle how it comes out. Thank you for stopping by with your thoughts. Your visit welcome and appreciated.

Chris

[Ken Simm.]

Sounds strange to say but this beautifully penned poem makes me envious. I wont say why but the phrase
' be grateful for what you had not for what you've lost' springs, for better or worse, springs to mind. Lovely piece. And Seasons greetings Chris. It is important that we remember during this time.

[Chris Shaw]

Seasons greetings to you too Ken and many thanks for stopping by. Keep safe and well.

Chris

[JE Falcon]

Such a heartfelt and lovely poem. --- Misty eyed, I shall not admit I am, dear lady. Tis something in the air, no doubt. :)

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Falcon for your understanding review. Appreciate you stopping by. All good wishes.
.
Chris

[emmajoy]

Such a sadness in and to your words - even though beautifully laid.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Em for your thoughtful words and your visit. Sending you all good wishes for Christmas. Good to have you stop by.

Chris

[lightsong]

I knew right away it was about your far precious mum, though any reader who also far from a loved person will feel your words to the bones... You have my tears since line one dear Chris, the emotions You wrote, conveyed and delivered tugged my heart with its sheer strong effects, when You write, You don't only write... You compose it all in your words, You are a Poetess and a master one. my warmest and gentle blessings for You and your mun ❤️❤️

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear lightsong for your understanding, thoughtful and kind review. You are a treasure.
read moreThank you dear lightsong for your understanding, thoughtful and kind review. You are a treasure.

Chris

[Kerra]

This write makes me think of my dad, I lost my dad at a young age, I watched him at the bedside pass away. I was in tears knowing he was probably going to die before an ambulance could make it to our house. Sorry you lost your mom, It is painful to go through.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Kerra for your heartfelt review. Sorry you lost your Dad so young.

Chris

[Patricia]

This is beautiful! The ending was emotional and wish I could kiss my mother one more time. But watching another sleep is something I do just for those reasons. Seeing their face free from those stress lines is beautiful and for awhile I remember the days when we were carefree and wild and everything was a new experience to be enjoyed… I get a happy. Well written as always Chris

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Patricia for stopping by and leaving a lovely review. So much appreciated dear poet. Big thanks.

Chris

[Patricia]

You're welcome Chris

[tranquilspace]

A mothers heart will long and miss a lost child for the long years she'll live but it's different when the child bears the pain of losing her first best friend, it's so wonderful how you describe a person's silence and serenity when they finally go to rest after everything. Well done, a very lovely poem

[Chris Shaw]

What a thoughtful and beautiful review you left for me. I thank you for your encouragement tranquil space. All the best.

Chris

[tranquilspace]

You're very welcome, thanks.

[William Michael Reeves]

That spoke to me Chris. I've seen the peace in death. Those lines of worry disappearing with that last breath. I'll be pondering on this poem all day. Beautiful!

[Chris Shaw]

Dear William, thank you so much for stopping by and leaving an encouraging review. Means alot.

Chris

[Fran Marie]

Oh Chris this so heartfelt
it sinks my heart,I feel the
pain within this verse to
your mum..my own mom
has passed on ..not a day
goes by that I don't think
of her gentle ways..your
poem is lovely and beautifully
penned..nice work

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Fran Marie for stopping by and leaving a response. All good wishes to you.

Chris

[Gee]

The watching and waiting must be heart breaking as will be the closing of this chapter of both your lives.
Don't really know what to say Christine.
Take care

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Gee, the distance and the covid situation make it even more exasperating. I couldn't visit my mum when I was in Brixham recently because I was ill and sgecwon't answer the phone anymore because it confuses her. Appreciate you stopping by.

Chris