Miles Sans Smiles

(when you can't be where you want to be)

in thought flight

i wing westwards

where a cold cruel sea

tirelessly wears me down

in your winter's discontent

how lengthy it has been

how distant your warm smile

that broke ranks from your

much pined countenance

i watch as you breathe

gently into night's quiet

as a rose tinted light

glows softly from a lamp

as shadows are cast

in this far away room

my gloom dissipates

when i see you at rest

the rise and fall of your chest

your skin no longer etched

with unknown anxieties

causing torture

you are at peace

in sleep's embrace

a temporary release perhaps

no trace of fear to haunt

lid covered eyes

no cries as the familiar

turns into a stranger

i leave you with a brow kiss

and a heartfelt plea

don't miss me mum

as much as i miss you

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Chris, you have genuine talent. I know a problem I have (because I'm old and heard too much metric and/or rhyming in school) is being too literal. Your first two lines reminded me of my own difficulties. "in thought flight, i wing westwards"

From the poems I've read in literary journals, the thought you express often is put more like this: thought flying, on westward wing....cold cruel sea pounding tirelessly....I am broken...blah, blah, blah.

I'm not suggesting this for your poem, but wondering if you see in yourself the same kind of problem I find in my work?

There is literal and then there is suggestion - and then there is poetry. I don't know where I fall on that continuum but too close to literal, for sure.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for your visit. To be honest, I go with the muse. If it comes out literal, then that's the way the cookie crumbles. Some of my stuff is truly poetic, some of it a mix of both. I guess it depends on my mood at the time and what I'm thinking about. I'm not seeking perfection or fame, I just write. Sometimes I make a consciousv effort to stay away from the first person, but if I've got something to say, it is difficult to stifle how it comes out. Thank you for stopping by with your thoughts. Your visit welcome and appreciated.

Chris

[andrew mitchell]

Dementia is a terrible disease for all involved. Nicely written Chris, conveys the message with ease.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Andrew for your understanding. I hope all is good with you. I appreciate you stopping by.

Chris

[andrew mitchell]

I’m okay Chris, just so busy of late I have no time for writing and it’s easy to lose that edge in writing lol.

[Chris Shaw]

Better being busy than having too much time on your hands. Pleased all is well:)

[Patricia Wedel]

I slept on a Cot by my Mother's Hospital Bed. I held her hand and felt her Life slipping away. It was very sacred and I will never forget for a moment. gently, Pat

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Pat for sharing those poignant last moments with your dear mother. How fortunate she was to have you by her side.

Chris

[Patricia Wedel]

My Mother had Cancer in her Colon and it went to her Liver. She had Chemo and radiation and also an experimental drug from N I H injected into her Liver after an operation. When she spoke her last words to me, she said, “to always be a “Lady”. I was an only child and I understand the torment of seeing a beloved Mother become lost. I feel I am aging for both of us. truly, Pat

[Chris Shaw]

And you are a Lady dear Pat. How difficult that must have been as an only child. I am one of five, although I have lost a brother, I still have two sisters and another brother to share with. That is a tremendous support. We are able to share the sorrow.

[John the Baptist]

Who knows where the minds of those with dementia are abiding? At the hospital where I worked, it was not unusual for someone to address me by the name of someone from their distant past, or to carry on conversations with people who weren't physically there. It is difficult to interact with strangers in this plight; I can't imagine how hard it must be with a parent. The poem really captures such a situation vividly. Your mother is lucky to have you, whether she is able to realize it or not.

[Chris Shaw]

You understand the situation perfectly. She is neither here nor there. It is incredibly painful to witness my once vibrant, intelligent and loving mum, reduced to such a state. I prefer to think of her sleeping. Then I know at least she is restful and not troubled.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

It is hard when we have to miss parents who have passed away, but much harder still to miss them when they are still here but we have become strangers to them.
this just rips my heart out....I feel it strongly.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear J, thank you for your understanding. Yes, she is missed greatly and she is still on this plane. Painful to even think about her and her confusion.

Chris

[Dave Brown]

Fortunately, both my parents went relatively peacefully but it does leave an unhealable empty spot
It is a poorly arranged system

[Chris Shaw]

She hangs on to life, a fragile fraction of her former self. It is a painful experience when I know she is confused and doesn't get any enjoyment from her remaining days. Her carers are wonderful. Thanks Dave.

Chris

[Stella Armour]

Oh Chris, i hadn't realized that she had passed away, although i knew she was not in a good place and that you worried about her.
She is at rest, and i am sure her spirit is now free to be who she really is and she will everywhere that you are and guiding you ♥

[Chris Shaw]

I prefer to think of her sleeping Stella, because at least then she is restful. She has no enjoyment in her days and is often confused. It amazes me that she is still with us. Her decline for me is painful.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

Memories sometimes dwindle over time…. You seem to remember your mother’s suffering and her torment before her death… you show us vividly as you speak to her, how concerned you were about her declining health. Still distant but close to your heart, she is at peace with eyelids closed…and your lay line shows how much you miss her, though she can’t miss you anymore..
Very heartfelt poem Chris
Best
Betty

[Chris Shaw]

Sadly she is still tormented and with us. That's why I prefer to think of her sleeping. How she hangs on I will never no. Her decline is incredibly painful for me. It doesn't help that she is two hundred miles away. Thanks dear Betty.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

how sad that is Chris; it's so strange how people hang on; a dear friend of mine held on with no mind for 10 years before she passed, terrible; so sorry for you, painful. Best to you Chris