Chapter 1

Desire has a funny way of ruining everything.

Two years ago Xavier had the desire to be an angel for the rest of his life. Then, he had the desire to kill his best friend. And now, he had the desire to be an angel again. To leave behind the life of a fallen angel.

Xavier had been a fallen angel for two years now. Two years ago he killed his best friend Roy, causing multiple tragic events to follow. First, he was sentenced to be a fallen angel, sent down from heaven in a fiery heap, scorching the grounds he landed on. Second, his girlfriend broke up with him.

Her name was Laurissa, and she was the most outstanding angel Xavier had ever seen. She was his angel, his glowing, shining, sparkling angel, with the most beautiful wings in all of heaven.

Xavier had forgotten how much he loved Laurissa, how great his life was going when he was with her. How great his life was before he became a fallen angel. Before he made the decision to kill Roy and ruin everything. He left his hometown, left Laurissa, his family, his school, the town he grew up in. At times he regretted it, and at times he congratulated himself. It seemed wrong to tell himself it was ok when that one incident ruined his entire life and any chance he had at having a good one.

But lately, his mind hasn't been in the right place, and things have been changing.

And that's why he found himself at Laurissa's window that night, watching her sleep for hours.

The dark of the night began to set in as Xavier sat at her window. His dark hair began to drip as the cold rain melted into his bangs. However, he wasn't cold, even as the rain and wind pounded against him. The anxiety and intensity of watching Laurissa sleep, as well as the battle against himself not to be with her, was enough to keep his heart pounding and his body warm.

He remembers what she looked like, the look on her face, when he told her what he did to become a fallen angel two years ago. Everyone was there to watch Xavier fall from heaven that day. Laurissa was wearing her black coat, the one with slits in the back so her wings could fit through. Her beautiful white wings shown in the dark of the night, reflecting the fire scorching Xavier's body. Her black coat covered her entire body but her face.

Her face showed pain, regret, sadness, and disappointment. Xavier remembered he felt tears roll down his cheeks and sizzle when they touched the fire. "How could you, Xavier? Why would you do such a thing?" She cried to him through the flames.

He didn't have an answer.

He missed his wings, the way they would make an enclosure of warmth around him consisting of black feathers with gold specs. At times he found it hard to remember that his wings weren't there anymore. He used to be able to show off his wings and their unique, attracting black and gold color. No other angels had such absurd colors in their wings. Xavier was one of a kind.

Until he unwillingly became a fallen angel. Banned from heaven and sent down to Earth while Laurissa still had her gorgeous wings. Her glowing white wings. If only Xavier could have seen them now. If only she hadn't had them tucked back and out of sight before she went to bed that night. They're so blindingly brilliant, it's breathtaking.

It was that night that fate and realism had fought in Xavier's mind for hours, leaving him at Laurissa's window to watch her sleep.

After hours of debating, reality struck Xavier. And that's what finally got him to leave her window.

Xavier jumped down from the tree in front of Laurissa's window. He had been perched there for hours, hiding behind a leafy branch. When he jumped off, it caused the branch to shake and shed cold water droplets onto Xavier's head, reminding him that there was such thing as cold. He sighed and stuffed his chilled hands in the pockets of his black sweatshirt.

Back when he was an angel, his wings would have protected him from the pouring rain. He wouldn't be cold.

He looked back at the brick house, the house Laurissa had lived in her entire life. Xavier remembered having fun at parties at her house. He remembered the first time he met her parents and had dinner with them. He remembered meeting Laurissa, the first time he laid eyes on her. He remembered the first time he saw Laurissa's wings, nearly blown back by their beauty. Her parent's wings are the same sparking white as Laurissa's, but not nearly as breathtaking.

Xavier remembered his first kiss with Laurissa, sitting up in the tree one afternoon. He looked up in the tree now, remembered the feel of her lips against his and cringed. The memory was too much for Xavier to handle. He began to walk away from the house, leaving Laurissa behind for now.

When Xavier got his wings torn off and got himself banned from heaven, he moved away from Aduro city and to another city 50 miles away, Cecily. He felt a fresh start was needed. A new life as a human, no longer an angel's life. 

That was his second mistake.

He rarely heard from Laurissa after that and never saw her face again. Until now. Seeing her sleep, watching her stomach rise and fall gracefully, it was the best feeling in the world  to see her so peaceful. His shining angel living her innocent life. Her normal life, even when she's an angel incognito, hiding her secret from the world.

That's how it used to be for Xavier.

Xavier got home ten minutes later to his new apartment, giving an evil glare to the pile of boxes in the corner that need to be unpacked, knowing there was more in his bedroom as well. He had taken off his soaking wet sweatshirt and hung it up in the shower to dry. Then he went back in the living room and plopped down on his old, worn-down couch with a sigh. He listened to the rain pound against the window behind him, enjoying the pitter-patter as he slowly closed his eyes to relax.

But his joyful relaxation never lasts long. His mind was racing with thoughts, questions, and ideas. First thing he let himself think about was his old life in Cecily. He knew the area he had moved to was bad, and he had heard stories on the daily news, and he didn't think meeting people in the area he lived in was such a good idea. He wasn't a complete loner, however. He met two guys that are also prisoners in the fallen angel life.

Devin was one of them, a fallen angel Xavier had met within his first two months of being a fallen angel himself. They had become good friends over the two years Xavier had known him. The first few months Xavier was a fallen angel he didn't want to meet anyone new or mingle with anyone, he wanted to just keep to himself.

One night, Xavier had gone out to explore his new town after leaving Aduro, to just get a feel of it. Aduro isn't a small town but it's not big either. Cecily was much smaller and much quieter. It had a lonely feel to it; not many people wandered the streets at night and that made Xavier feel like he was putting himself at risk. After he became a fallen angel his strength and power got taken away as well. If he happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, he couldn't defend himself that well.

He ran into Devin and his buddy Sam that night while wondering the streets. They were just strolling along, like Xavier, acting as if they were tough enough to take on any danger that came they're way. They're big guys, big enough that you can tell they work out pretty often. They cause trouble of their own, but Devin and Sam aren't bad as they could have been. They showed Xavier around town in their worn-down Jeep, telling him which areas were safe and which weren't. They had welcomed him, even when Xavier didn't welcome them as friends. They were his connection to humanity. In a way, they still are.

That's about ten percent of why Xavier moved to Aduro again. He wanted to get back in touch with people, real people, and humanity. Reality.

The other ninety percent was all Laurissa.

However, Devin traveled a lot and never tied himself down to one thing, whether that thing be women, homes, friends, jobs, or even personality. He likes to change it up. That's not bad but sometimes it's not good either. Devin had only met Sam three or four months before he met Xavier, and according to Sam that's the longest Devin's ever kept two friends in touch with him.

Sam is more of outgoing type, always with a girl, always with his friends, always at a party. He never let himself be alone. Xavier found it difficult to relate to him and be his friend but it also helped to have a friend like Sam. Sam was his link to life, to communicating. When Xavier became a fallen angel he responded with loneliness, he became a hermit. He left his hometown, left his entire life. But when Sam became a fallen angel, he filled the void with people, with parties, with friends. He didn't let the life of a fallen angel get him down.

And Devin filled the void with travel, with different lifestyles and personalities.

All fallen angels had a different way of dealing with it. There's a time in your life when you're an angel where all you want to be, all you ever want to be, is an angel. It's your entire life, it means everything to you, it's your entire world. It makes you crazy, like it's a drug. You get addicted, you get psychotic, you just lose it. Some fallen angels deal with, control it, handle it perfectly. Others just let go, let it take them over, let it do whatever it wants them to do.

Even commit murder, one of the things a true angel would never do. It's like a test, like it's proving whether or not you can handle being an angel. Xavier, Devin, and Sam couldn't handle it, they did something bad and got sent down. Wings torn off, power nearly taken away, life torn apart. Some are good at hiding it, others let it show. Being a fallen angel feels like your happiness was ripped away with your wings. It feels like when you fall from the sky, the fire burning at your flesh is the horrible, depressing life setting in. And at some point in your life as a fallen angel, you realize you'll always be a fallen angel now. Your mistake caused you to be this way forever.

Sometimes Xavier regretted killing Roy. At other times, he was glad he did. But he could never come up with a reason why.

Laurissa, however, would never be a fallen angel. She would never even think of it. She'd always be the beautiful angel that she is. She'll never make the mistake Xavier did.

Devin and Sam didn't know about Laurissa. No one did. Xavier had never shared his true feelings with anyone, he kept himself as closed in as possible. The only person that had ever reached him was Laurissa. He couldn't imagine himself ever leaving her again. That's why he moved back, to be with her and only her.

That's why he's going to her school. He didn't know whether or not she would take him back but as long as he can see her face, hear her beautiful voice. See her alive and well, healthy and still beautiful. It's enough for him to keep going.

Enough for him to keep living.

Author's Note

I know there's a few typos and mistakes in the chapter somewhere, so please let me know where they are so I can fix them asap. This chapter is still in progress and is still being worked on a little but please tell me of anything you think I should add or leave out or anything. Thanks.

Reviews

[Jacques]

I couldn't see any typos or mistakes as i was just putting my eyes to the story . It's a very good chapter and the first chapter isn't like i thought , it's more of a narrator's view on things of what's happened but i liked it because it put you into control of what's happened and gives you more interest in what's next . I have a feeling like this is going to be a very good book because from what i see , it's going too be very character - based and i loved the words you used and how they flowed and fitted very well . One thing though i think one of the things i noticed , how you mention Xavier being a fallen angel , you do it a lot in the first two paragraphs i think . My favourite paragraph had too be the last one and i'm interesting into seeing what's happened as we got some sort of vision but i would like something more to visualise it . I think you've wrote this first chapter very well and it gives me more of a mood and feel of what this book will follow and it'll be interesting for me as a reader too see how far you've really come and grown as a writer . Amazing write , keep it up and i wanna see more .