The Gift

For the last year I have been living in Guyana, South America teaching music. It is very hot and few places have air-conditioning. I never understood the wonderful gift of a breeze till I moved here!

Do you understand the gift of a breeze?

It's so hot

you're dripping

from being still.

You're sticky anywhere that bends.

You wait, spread-eagled on the cement.

Cement holds

just a little

of the night's coolness.

You long to suck it right into your core.

You think it will never come.

That you can't--

that you will never escape

the feeling of being cooked.

When--“Oh!”

You stand up and spread wide your arms.

Let your whole body

catch the delicious

cooling effect.

Thank God for this simple breeze.

And then--it's gone.

You lie back down

awaiting the gift's return.

Author's Note

Please be critical! Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[Shadowkai]

I am sorry i cannot be as critical as the others, of course due to my inexperience. However i can say how well written this is, how even the smallest of things like a simple breeze is like a gift, a blessing from above. I love your poetry and o hope one day mine will be just as good

[Not Active]

this poem is very well written. the imagery is very effective. reading this i can paint a clear picture of what is happening. great job!

[Bill Grimke-Drayton]

First of all, living in a tropical climate at the moment, I can definitely identify with the feelings expressed in this poem. We have one large fan in the lounge / dining room / kitchen, and only one aircon in the main bedroom. It is like an oven here where we live. as far as the poem is concerned, I especially like the short lines. I wonder whether you use the shortness to show the shortness of breath in a hot, humid climate. You immediately introduce the theme of the "gift" of the breeze, and then the rest of the poem is the "opening" of that gift! I see there is a structure to the poem. In the first and final verses you mention the "gift", and then in the second and penultimate ones the idea of "spread-eagled" or "spread-wide" to enable your whole body to "catch the coolness" as you lie on the cement. Inevitably the "gift" of the breeze does not last. So you take advantage of it while you can. I loved the poem.

[viola]

Well, thank you very much! I don't think I've ever had anyone analyze one of my poems like that.!

[Bill Grimke-Drayton]

I hope it was OK.

[3X3MPLER]

You stand up and spread wide your arms.

Let your whole body

catch the delicious

cooling effect.

Thank God for this simple breeze.


...i liked this part best

[jqueen]

beautiful anyone can feel the breeze throgh your words.

[Philip Muls]

You manage to maximize the effect of the 'simple breeze' in your poem. The reader can really feel the relieve of that cool breeze. You describe very well the hotness and sticky-ness.

The end is strength of character ' You lie back down awaiting the gift's return.'

Well done.

[viola]

Thank you very much! I always want my readers to be able to experience what I am writing about. If you ever read anything of mine and can't, let me know!