The Evil Inside

Don't know what evil is consuming my thoughts lately

 

I feel it coming again…
Disconnecting from the world.
Crawling into my dark hole,
Pushing everyone away.
I want to be loved, yet…
Want to be alone.
Alone to sulk in my own depression…
To search for clarity in purpose.
My loneliness gets lonelier...
My sadness gets darker,
And evil takes control
Of this ill fated mind.
Why can't I pull away? 
Why can't I stay strong?
When I push these demons away 
They fight to come back!
Come back for control
To overtake my mind.
Corrupt my soul and 
Leave me hurting.
Leave me gasping for faith;
I'm searching for strength.
Desperate for my faith but
Right now the devil is on the move.
Pushing, consuming, trying
To overtake me.
Pushing my triggers…
Finding my deepest scars.
Reminding me that he
Is always here on earth with me.
Slowly digging into me.
My weakness is my emptiness.
My strength is a distant memory.
Find me... I'm lost and alone.

 

Author's Note

Let me know your thoughts

Reviews

[Rodger Tunif]

There is no one to find you. It is you who must find yourself. And when you do, you might discover there is no one there. Then, you will either despair or you will survive to MAKE yourself. One must not find themself, one must create themself. There is no devil to oppress you, there is only you. You are the devil and you are the angel. These forces of good and evil compose your being. To wrestle with the devil is to refrain your own hand. Understand and embrace yourself for everything that you are; good and evil, right and wrong. Embrace who you are. This is hope. This is faith. To hope in yourself. To have faith and believe in yourself both as you are and as you can become. Why do you cry aloud for someone else who cannot help you? YOU can help you. You define you, you are you, you control you. Don't wait to be found. Build something for us to discover.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Mr. Firtch... appreciate the words... the review... your comments. Thank you! :)

[Calamityofgin]

So which should he do French..embrace himself as he is or create himself..totally confused by this.

[micky]

Wow Aaron I am truly left speechless,I literally can not express how amazingly beautiful this piece is....The line that really hit home was "I want to be loved yet,want to be alone"
You are a amazing writer I hope you never stop writing because if you do I will be left with no inspiration

THANK YOU!!!!this piece really is.....I don't have the words,just know it takes alot to leave me with no words

[AaronFreitas]

Awww thanks Micky I really appreciate that. Sometimes for me it's easiest to write from what I am feeling be it pain, joy, anger or whatever it is. I appreciate your kind words and I am glad it inspires you :)

[Confuser]

Aaron: The Evil Inside: I see evil in pretention and greed, things I never wish to be...People everywhere seem to be opportunistic, it's a plaugue that pushes us all, to succeed, and brings forth that evil, maybe. It is a sad poem with a broad audience, and oh my the depths of depression the lows, so low I have felt in my life, like the next breath is a surprise, and to lose faith, like everyone does, is so sad; the emotions you express are very good and I truly enjoyed it, and you've given me thoughts to ponder, especially about lonliness. In fact inspired me...I see lonliness as a real part of our psyche, I wish to ask your lonliness as if a person, why do you do this to me? Hey, Aaron maybe I'm just sleepy. Good work. Dale

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Dale. Sometimes we get to places where we just start to feel alone, feel unloved and feel unwanted. I was going through times like this where everything felt fake. Peoples freidnliness towards me felt fabricated and I pulled away from everyone. It wasn't until I wrote this and just got things out that I was able to step back, take a breath and release to darkness that was starting to consume me. I appreciate your feedback and review my friend... with each write I hope I spark some thought :)

[Confuser]

Aaron: You did, I love your candor, hey, I say it like it is...try to be happy, sometimes it's hard, I know,,,love your poems, enjoyed reading it and was inspired: Let's stay friends!!! I need your inspiration, and I'll to to uplift you too!!: D

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much :) Always friends :) I need good inspiration my friend... this writing helps

[Confuser]

You're welcome, and it does help....thanks too.

[Julia Mars]

Nice job Aaron, dark stuff is hard to write about I find.
We've all go a bit of dark in us think. And most of us do a good job containing it.

[AaronFreitas]

Yeah I believe each person has that dark side in them... some consume and are able to push it away. I like to go there to write :) Thank you Julia

[Julia Mars]

Well keep it comin'! :)

[Bear]

Sorry it took me so long to get around to reading this. I love poems that expose the dark side of humanity to the light of exposure, and I wouldn't call it evil. This is very imaginative and masterfully constructed, I applaud your word crafting.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Bear... no problem buddy you got to it :) Appreciate it

[TheLostMind]

We all have demons inside us Aaron. We all keep fighting them. We all want to be loved. Yet, we are afraid of losing it. The evil inside us can cause more damage than the evil that lingers outside.
"My weakness is my emptiness.
My strength is a distant memory.
Find me... I'm lost and alone." - The last three lines are the essence of your poem. There is always hope. In darkness even a tiny ball of light can bring delight and warmth, in the same way, even a distant memory can keep evil at bay and lead us in the right direction

A really good write :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you for your review my friend... yeah there are a lot of dark lines in that write. I kind of cut everyone out... not sure why but my friends that we daily talk to friends just got cut out and I'm moving forward just me right now. Gotta find myself.. my strength to find my happiness :) Thanks

[TheLostMind]

We all move through that phase my friend.. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.. B Bleesed :)

[TheLostMind]

dang.. *blessed* :P

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you... appreciate your reassurance :)

[Amber Lily]

This is truly amazing... that feeling when the darkness creeps into your mind and demands to take control. The dark setting was well painted and clearly indicated some type of struggle. I love this type of writing so I give you a 10 out of 10! :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Amber :) Appreciate your kind review... made my night much better :)

[Amber Lily]

Just speaking the truth, your welcome :)

[silent poet]

I love this, beautiful darkness! I relate and understand. I believe most can at a point in life. Very deep and nicely written.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much silent poet. Appreciate your review :)

[silent poet]

you're very welcome, will definitely loook at futher work :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks I appreciate that :) Send me read requests.. easiest way for me to look at others work... I'm behind right now got 59 to read and catch up so might be slow :)

[silent poet]

Anytime! :) I just started a brand new page, so just one poem up at the moment. But thank you would appreciate that.

[Mitali Shah]

nice piece Aaron. Penned your pain very well. God Bless and give you the courage to fight the demons away. keep writing :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Mitali... appreciate your kind words and your review :)

[Mitali Shah]

your welcome Aaron

[Natalie Garcia]

I'm almost positive you will find your happiness, if not found already. Being happy is something that comes and goes, but there is no need to feel so lost when it's not present. Keep moving forward and you will find your way!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Natalie. Yeah... happiness comes and goes... probably the best way to explain it. Thanks for your review... appreciate it :)

[Ruth]

I understand the pulling away...these are hard times to live in and when a sensitive soul feels the pressure of the world on top of acknowledging their own "darkness" it tilts the scales...advice from someone else who hides away? Surf the wave and be kind to yourself ;) lol ♥

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks for the advice Poppy... will keep that in mind :) Appreciate your review and your advice :)