The Evil Inside

Don't know what evil is consuming my thoughts lately

 

I feel it coming again…
Disconnecting from the world.
Crawling into my dark hole,
Pushing everyone away.
I want to be loved, yet…
Want to be alone.
Alone to sulk in my own depression…
To search for clarity in purpose.
My loneliness gets lonelier...
My sadness gets darker,
And evil takes control
Of this ill fated mind.
Why can't I pull away? 
Why can't I stay strong?
When I push these demons away 
They fight to come back!
Come back for control
To overtake my mind.
Corrupt my soul and 
Leave me hurting.
Leave me gasping for faith;
I'm searching for strength.
Desperate for my faith but
Right now the devil is on the move.
Pushing, consuming, trying
To overtake me.
Pushing my triggers…
Finding my deepest scars.
Reminding me that he
Is always here on earth with me.
Slowly digging into me.
My weakness is my emptiness.
My strength is a distant memory.
Find me... I'm lost and alone.

 

Author's Note

Let me know your thoughts

Reviews

[Rodger Tunif]

There is no one to find you. It is you who must find yourself. And when you do, you might discover there is no one there. Then, you will either despair or you will survive to MAKE yourself. One must not find themself, one must create themself. There is no devil to oppress you, there is only you. You are the devil and you are the angel. These forces of good and evil compose your being. To wrestle with the devil is to refrain your own hand. Understand and embrace yourself for everything that you are; good and evil, right and wrong. Embrace who you are. This is hope. This is faith. To hope in yourself. To have faith and believe in yourself both as you are and as you can become. Why do you cry aloud for someone else who cannot help you? YOU can help you. You define you, you are you, you control you. Don't wait to be found. Build something for us to discover.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Mr. Firtch... appreciate the words... the review... your comments. Thank you! :)

[Calamityofgin]

So which should he do French..embrace himself as he is or create himself..totally confused by this.

[Jen]

The mind is the adversary of the heart. This makes me just want to reach out and hold the pain and longing still and away, so that peace and serenity can embrace this beautiful soul. Beautifully painfully and conflicted poetry. Wonderful job!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Jen... that would be nice :) I appreciate your kind words and review... thank you!

[Irenic]

it is so beautiful poem. You have explained in detail what demon do to us. he hurts us. Thank you for writing such a realistic peace which says that now we are not we are. today we are surrendered by demons.
Find me... I'm lost and alone.
it is the best line.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you irenic... yeah that line "find me.. I'm lost and alone" is a deep one... just asking for anyone to find me and make me happy. Kind of a desperate plea to not be lost and alone. Appreciate your review :)

[Irenic]

Welcome :)

[KirstMind]

This is a great piece. I do believe everyone at some point in their life goes through the typical despondent stages of loneliness and self searching... You captured the process perfectly.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you buddy... I think everyone goes through a moment like this. Appreciate the review :)

[Relic]

The cry for help pervades every line. The helpless feeling is transferred to the reader making a part of them remember or relate to all you say. Powerful stuff.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Relic... was hoping the reader would feel that coming through the words. Appreciate the review buddy :)

[Death's Poet]

Wow. This is beautiful. There is SO much emotion in this and I can really relate to this. The imagery you used really helps convey the sense of angst and the struggle. Amazing job Aaron. Amazing

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Shadow Poet :) This one was a tough one... these feelings came straight from the heart. Appreciate your kind words, your compliment and you taking the time to read and review :) Send me any read requests any time :)

[RomaJ]

Powerful piece, with so much depth. We've all been down this dark road. " I want to be loved, yet…
Want to be alone." Very relatable write for everyone.

[AaronFreitas]

Those 2 lines seem to be the 2 that have stood out the most. It's definitely a major contradiction and what sucks is that is one I am going through. Appreciate your review my friend :)

[RomaJ]

You're welcome, Aaron. Aww...wishing you warmth , light ,and happy smiles, rainbows and unicorns your way....
smile.....:)

[AaronFreitas]

Haha is it a unicorn I can ride? Lol thanks :)

[RomaJ]

Haha why of course, and it flies too...Hope you are feeling better:)

[AaronFreitas]

Haha thanks I'll take that unicorn any day but you gotta ride too :)

[RomaJ]

Hahahaha:) brilliant.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!!
powerful and dark.......
cries of help........praying to be found.....
this fight is the worst......fighting with the self.....
unfortunately, i could relate to most of it.......
beautiful writing.....
i loved it!!!
:)

[AaronFreitas]

I am glad you could relate... you know what its like fighting through those dark times. It happens... can't change it but mine as well write about it, share it and hope others connect to it :) I appreciate your review and support buddy :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

true..........you are welcome.....!!! :) :)

[RiverRei]

Sometimes we need that time alone to straighten ourselves out. Accept the demons with the light as the demons are still a part of us. I know that it took me years of hiding alone by myself to figure out who I was and how to be happy with myself. I didn't even believe in God until I met my boyfriend. I was Wiccan in high school but even that didn't seem right. I'm sorry you've been feeling like this though. I'm always here for you if you need someone to talk to. As long as you don't push me away. You do that, it'll be hard for me to help you lol. Thanks for sharing my friend :)

[AaronFreitas]

Nah I haven't pushed you away :) I got your back friend ... appreciate your review :)

[Gee]

You describe so well something that God willing I will never experience.Really sweet write Aaron

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Gee... I appreciate your kind words very much :)

[~]

The more we push, the more we will feel the resistance. You did a great job describing it my friend. :D

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you moonskittles.... my page always looks prettier once your smile is on it :) lol thanks for the review...I''ll be a few hours away from you in July... headed to LA house of blues for a concert.... sooooooo excited!

[~]

Oh fun!! Enjoy it while you can :D:D

[AaronFreitas]

haha enjoy it while I can? That doesn't mean you're leaving right?

[~]

:D........................

[AaronFreitas]

Noooo... stay friends don't lose contact :)