Sink or Swim

Every once in a while I just write in no particular format, don't edit hardly anything and post it. Just raw thoughts. These came as I was sitting on my porch thinking all alone.

If I could capture this moment... this time of my life, it would probably look something like a statue of a broken man... blunt in hand and a beer in the other staring up at passing clouds that turn to a clear night and stars wondering where do I go from here? How do I move forward with life? Right now I'm slowly deteriorating like decaying wax in a candle jar and my life is melting before my eyes. I've got to get up and do something with myself instead of wondering how to categorize these thoughts of mine. Even the small ant that slowly crawls up my leg as I write this is chasing a bigger dream than I.... the ant thinks about reaching the top as I observe and wallow in self-pity and wonder what could have been. Well.... what can become? It’s time to get up and grasp a dream and start chasing with a full head of steam. I just hope I don't hit the ground too hard when I fall... but I will get back up and keep chasing that dream because in life we sink or swim and I've already sunk to the bottom... all that's left is to lightly tread back to some familiarity.

Author's Note

Let me know your thoughts please :)

Reviews

[Luna]

I love all the imagery, it's like I'm there with you, sinking except, well it's never too deep. I haven't reached the bottom, or I have and I'm okay with it? So what if we have dreams in life, and what is next for us after we've reached our goals, Life is pointless no matter how big or small our dreams are. Sinking in the void that is left by this life we had no word in is only natural, we don't know what we are doing here, it's an endless circle, dreaming and feeling like we could fly, then losing hope and sinking to the bottom of despair, either way, it's absurd.

[AaronFreitas]

You make a great point Luna :) Sometimes you are damned at the top and damned at the bottom... I guess it becomes about finding what makes you happy as a person... and that I am still searching for. Thanks for your review :)

[BLitZeD]

thought at the end to myself, god damn ants man..j/k . fantastic imagery of my life story portrayed :) very nice write sir, been there done that, a moment immortalized in time

[AaronFreitas]

haha usually I am slapping the ant off pissed off but this time I looked at it in a different light since I was writing... it was fun. Appreciate the review buddy

[dead scribe]

I can 100 % relate to this, awesome piece

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much... glad you can relate :)

[W R Stowe]

Familiarity may not always be what we need Aaron.Sometimes we need to use the 3"Cs"Take a chance make a choice to achieve change.Always pray about choices before taking chances.God is always with you reach out and allow Him to take your hand because if we take His we may let go,but He won't ever let go God bless Aaron

Bill

[AaronFreitas]

I will definitely keep that in mind... the three C's. Good advice my friend I appreciate it :)

[Thesecuts]

In my opinion, this is absolutely perfect in every way.

[AaronFreitas]

Aww thanks :) That means a lot especially with this write that is just pure raw thoughts and emotion :)

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Excellent raw thoughts, and pretty well perfect, if you didn't edit it! I have and and still do feel a bit like this on no so good days. Doesn't everyone suffer with thoughts of where their life is going at some point - or often?!! :o( Nowhere much, is often the reply that comes back to me.

I wonder sometimes though, if that shouldn't matter as strongly we feel it does. We live in a society that feeds us with the impression that if great things are not happening then something is terribly wrong. It's hard to get that out of the mind, but I'm not sure that's the truth at all.

But, how to think and feel differently - that is the big question!! ;o)

I like the way you brought the ant into your thoughts, that was very good. If only the ant could speak, we might be surprised at what it feels!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much. The way you see it is the way I wrote it. Straight into the notes on my phone, emailed to myself and cut and pasted into the cafe. I like to do these kind of writes sometimes where I just let me mind go and write whatever comes out. It gives the reader a good opportunity to to kind of walk through my mind for a bit and see my thoughts :) Appreciate your reviews you are too awesome :)

[Suzy Hazelwood]

It's a good exercise for many reasons to write randomly. I don't do it often, but when I do, it's fascinating what comes out. I find it either results in something new or acts as some kind of mind therapy. One way or the other it's worth a go. Keep writing the random thoughts Aaron, you never know where it may take you! :o)

[AaronFreitas]

I definitely will Suzy :)

[Matching Socks]

I think we all have down moments but you manage to pull yourself out of it. I really liked the part of the ant. Neat way of looking at it.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Ana... the ant really did happen to crawl on me and that entire thought process was honest as it happened. I let it crawl as I typed into my phone :) I appreciate your review... 2 in one week you are spoiling me :)

[Diana]

Has a spoken word vibe to it. Nice lyricism.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Diana... that is the way my mind processes lol :)

[Yanina McKnight]

Great words and analogies, I can clearly picture your state of mind. Writing is a good way to let off some steam from the day. Internal chaos is quite difficult to handle, with pain and suffering the main causes, at times giving up may seem like the only option. But little things, such as an ant crawling up your leg may remind you that life is all about the little moments, the memories and future experiences that bring you wonders of happiness. Being broken doesn't mean loneliness, you may be alone, but you have your faith and courage. You say "...all that's left is to lightly tread back to some familiarity", you know you are able to pull yourself up and keep going, you are aware that you must move on. The smallest of steps make big differences.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful entry!
-Yanina

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Yanina :) It was one of those days... these are the thoughts that came out :) Appreciate your review and your kind words :)

[Yanina McKnight]

I have many of those type of entries in my journal! You're very welcome :) keep up the good work!

[marcus]

Ya, I've been there before, still haven't figured anything out by the way.

[AaronFreitas]

haha thats life for us... thanks for the review buddy :)