Padded Walls

Something different... no not about me :)

Wrap me up... strap me up

Throw away the key

Locked in a room, I lay to spoon

With a shadow of me

      Shut them up!!!

      Tell them to stop!!!

      These voices wont cease!

Rocking on the floor, feeling like a w***e

Thoughts unwind

Bite my tongue, just for fun

Where is my mind?

Pad these walls… ignore the calls

I must be crazy

Hear the cries… my soul lies

Visions hazy

       “Just do it

       kill yourself

       do the world a favor”

I cannot lie… the voice inside

Says take my life

So I jump to fly

I fall and cry

But cannot die

So wrap me up, strap me up

Throw away the key

It’s obvious this padded room

Is the end of me,

 

 

Author's Note

Read and review please :)

Reviews

[Maja]

Woah this one's actually pretty scary but I enjoyed reading it :D I especially love the third, fourth, and the last two lines, because it gave the feeling that there's no escape not just from the padded room, but from the condition itself. Great poem and I'm glad I read it :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Maja :) I am glad you liked it. I tried to do something a little different with this write and I am glad you as a reader enjoyed :) Thank you

[jonah]

Hey, Aaron. My, this piece. Dark and insane. Reminds me a bit of scizhophrenia. I wonder if the poem has something to do with it or it's just the raw screams from inside the tortured soul that's been hiding for so long. But, these lines kinda confuse me a bit: "So i jump to fly. I fall and cry but cannot die." I'm sure it's not meant to be taken literally, but i don't know what it's actually saying. Maybe you could provide some explanation? Overall, great writing!

[AaronFreitas]

I had a bit of that schizophrenic conversation thought in my mind when writing this which is why I added the other voice telling him to end his life... that's what I was trying to get across. Maybe the vision I had in my head was clearer than I was with the words... so with that picture you have the guy sitting on the bed. The thoughts come to his mind to jump like he is jumping off a ledge... he jumps to fly to his death but since it's just from the bed all he does is fall and cry because he cannot die or kill himself the way his mind was thinking as if he was jumping off a ledge of a building or something. That's what I was trying to get across with that one. Thanks for your review buddy :)

[jonah]

woow thanks for the explanation too haha. it even gets better after reading your explanation of the poem. i kinda got a stronger imagery of the poem's content.

[nazia]

This is simply amazing. I have no words to describe what I felt while reading through the lines.
The last two lines sent a shiver down the spine. Its so sad, for some people, the four walls are the end of the world. One of the best poems I have read on writers cafe so far. Bravo :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you so much Nazia! You compliments mean a lot and really brightened up my day :) I am glad you liked it and I agree... those 4 walls kind of symbolize being suffocated and locked into your own demise... locked in a room with your own thoughts... scary stuff :)

[Roland Petrov]

This is raw and riveting. The repetition of the first two lines completes the poem nicely. Captivating stuff from the title to the end of me.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Roland... I appreciate your review. I tried to do the erratic state of the mind some justice with the write :)

[Isabella Disney]

I really liked this. Thank you for sharing! Great flow, as well as painting a crystal clear image :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Isabella :) I am glad you enjoyed it :D

[Daisygirl]

I see what you mean, this one is quite different. I find the emotion portrayed is more harsh or jagged but captivating all the same.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much. The topic, someone being confined to a straight jacket in a padded room on suicide watch is a harsh reality for some and I was trying to capture that erratic emotion. Appreciate your review :)

[Ankita]

It's amazing.
Seriously.
This poem hits bad.
bad in a good way
keep it up :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Ankita :) I am glad you enjoyed it :)

[Angela Sparks]

This has been one of my favorite poems I've read so far. I like how the first verse is repeated. I just can't seem to keep my eyes off of it to read it again. I love the placing of the punctuation, makes it so much more endearing. I feel my heart stop when I read it again and again. Beautiful and very well written.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Angela... you made my day :) This one is a little different for me but still the dark tones and all... just a different topic and thought process but it was fun to write :) I am glad you liked and read it over and over... like I said you made my day :D

[Some Kind of Poet]

The image in my mind as I was reading this was mind blowing. I pictured somebody, locked inside an asylum, screaming out with a tortured soul as the voices inside plucked away at his own self. Very powerful. Very beautiful. Thanks for sharing this!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much. That is the visual I was going for... to really see someone like that is a crazy experience. Glad you liked it :)

[Marianne]

Amazing insight into a mind tortured by life within and without. I sure relate which makes anyone's writing so very real and authentic, and you have just proved it, Aaron. Truly brilliant!

ps. I write and post, hardly ever editing....I enjoy putting 'pen to paper' in the moment, regardless of pleasing or displeasing the reader....writing from the heart is so very subjective anyways.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Marianne... I like doing the pen to paper majority of the time... I like the rawness for some reason. Same with music... love acoustic and live and just the raw natural vibe without it being over produced. Appreciate your review... don't be shy send me any read request you want :)

[Marianne]

Yes, I actually have a friend who puts my spoken word lyrics to music, so much fun for both of us despite using basic sound equipment. Thank you so much wanting to read my kind of poetry. I accepted your friend request, so you could just pop in and see whether you like something...or not! Take care :)

[AaronFreitas]

Will do my friend :)

[Michele Harman]

Pretty good, I like it. I think that the imagery it brings is very good.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Michele I appreciate that. I tried my best to give the reader the best picture I could... it's hard to do it in only so many words. Thanks for your review :)