Padded Walls

Something different... no not about me :)

Wrap me up... strap me up

Throw away the key

Locked in a room, I lay to spoon

With a shadow of me

      Shut them up!!!

      Tell them to stop!!!

      These voices wont cease!

Rocking on the floor, feeling like a w***e

Thoughts unwind

Bite my tongue, just for fun

Where is my mind?

Pad these walls… ignore the calls

I must be crazy

Hear the cries… my soul lies

Visions hazy

       “Just do it

       kill yourself

       do the world a favor”

I cannot lie… the voice inside

Says take my life

So I jump to fly

I fall and cry

But cannot die

So wrap me up, strap me up

Throw away the key

It’s obvious this padded room

Is the end of me,

 

 

Author's Note

Read and review please :)

Reviews

[Maja]

Woah this one's actually pretty scary but I enjoyed reading it :D I especially love the third, fourth, and the last two lines, because it gave the feeling that there's no escape not just from the padded room, but from the condition itself. Great poem and I'm glad I read it :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Maja :) I am glad you liked it. I tried to do something a little different with this write and I am glad you as a reader enjoyed :) Thank you

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Wow, quite a bold poem Aaron - very good!! I have suffered with mental health issue (mainly depression) when I was a teen and also in my early 20's, but have never felt as extreme as this. I have a cousin who suffers with schizophrenia, I guess he would probably agree with the feelings expressed here, he's been in and out of hospital many times. It must be a terrible place to be trapped in.

So Aaron, what inspired you for this poem?

[AaronFreitas]

Well I used to work in a jail and on one of the floors I worked there were the suicide watch/camera cells. There was a guy in jail for something minor and the officers always talked to him... he was a pretty chill normal guy that liked to joke around and laugh. Usually real easy going. Well one night I go to the floor to work the last 4 hours of my 16 hr shift and when I get there I'm informed he has been acting up all day. Within 3 minutes of my shift he spits in an officers face so they have to take him out of his cell. He threatens to kill all and himself so then it becomes a bigger deal and he had a history of violence. So they open the cell he jumps up and starts fighting they end up shooting him with a pepper ball launcher, throw him in a suicide vest and into the padded room where he is monitored on camera and visually every 10 minutes. I heard him talking out loud in 4 different voices once. what I think was his voice, inner softer voice, demonic voice and a screaming yelling voice. All 4 had conversations through him and his mind seemed completely gone. The next week I saw him again and he was back to his normal self. Crazy stuff

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Wow, you've had some interesting experiences Aaron!!! :o0 The mind is a brilliant but extremely misunderstood and scary place! You've got something worth writing about there, could make a great short story.

[AaronFreitas]

I may have to work on... I'm thinking about just writing a bunch of short stories from experiences and things I've been through... it's worth a try :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

Well, the emotion you create in the rhythm of the words is mind blowing. Keep doing this and the 'voices' will run away in defeat. keep on writing, look forward to reading more.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much :) I am glad you liked it... it was something a little different in a sense it was me but still kind of a dark piece. Appreciate your review :)

[Ana B.]

A compelling piece, thats giving birth to a lot of thoughts in one's mind......the entire debate is just...brilliant. Exquisite work my dear, one of your finest i believe :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Ana :) I always appreciate your feedback and your kind words :) Oh... and it's nice to see you on my page it's been too long haha

[Ana B.]

:) Anytime my sweet friend!

[DIVYA]

You have captured the helplessness of insanity and instability very well. The voices that pursue so relentlessly,their sole aim to agonise and to kill. The poem makes me wonder if such a padded and strapped life is really better than death. The picture enhances the feeling of despair. Much appreciated.

[AaronFreitas]

Appreciate your review DIVYA :) For some that padded room is only temporary but I can see how it can drive you crazier being in there. Nothing relaxing about it lol. Thank you :)

[Emily]

Good pacing in this one Aaron! I love how the comma in the last line leaves you hanging. Great work!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Emily... I thought it would be interesting to see who caught that comma and who understood that it just kind of drops off at the end. Appreciate your review :)

[Emily]

No problem! :)

[ANTO]

"Wrap me up... strap me up
Throw away the key...
Pad these walls… ignore the calls
I must be crazy" - sorry mate, I stuck them together because they are one hell of a refrain - I can see Eminem doing this as a hook on a great rap. Classic !!

Briiliant exploration of what 'finding one's mind' must be like. I dont like to say losing ones mind because who is say that we are not the cray cray ones eh?
A friend of mines once described my home city as 'an open-air asylum' and I think that goes for just about every city in the world these days.

Great thought-stirring piece my friend. :))

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much ANTO... those lines do sound good together haha I like what your friend said... sometimes it feels just like an open-air asylum. I appreciate your review buddy :)

[fattycbreezy52]

It's a crazy feeling trapped in a dingy room
amazing thing Aaron . Your presentation rocks.
It emphasizes those crazy feelings much more.
Very hard-hitting, honest piece of dejection!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much my friend :) I couldn't imagine being strapped up like that... I'd really lose my mind haha... appreciate your review :)

[Aries1984]

And here I find myself reading this as a psychology student lol. The picture you conjure here is one that is similar with something the previous pastor from my church shared about himself which was a part of his sermon. He got sent to a psych ward for anger management and had to get strapped and locked away for a few days.

[AaronFreitas]

Damn that is crazy... usually they only do it if you are a threat to yourself. I used to work in a jail and got to watch a guy in a suicide vest locked in a camera cell and if you want to learn hands on about psychology I recommend that! haha I witnessed one person have a conversation out loud in 4 different voices.. what I think were his, his inner voice, a demon voice and the last a screaming yelling voice. Then a week later smiling and laughing perfectly normal... well as normal as can be haha... appreciate your review :)

[Aries1984]

I witnessed something similar at work when one customer acted like he fell and broke his leg. He had to get 6 firefighters to keep him down, and another 6 police officers to pin him down. He didn't break his leg after all. He just went bat-s**t crazy. Probably was withdrawing from drugs or something like that. They had to get him strapped to a gurney and into the ambulance. He started cursing at the cops saying things like, "GIVE ME YOUR GUN! I'MA SHOOT YOU YOU M**********R! GIVE ME YOUR GUN! GIVE IT TO ME!" In the whole process he did some serious damage in the cafe area of the Barnes & Noble I work at.

[AaronFreitas]

Wow that's insane!

[AaronFreitas]

Sounds like someone on meth... have you ever seen cops try to fight someone on meth... I don't know what it does to the mind and body but it's a completely different person!

[Aries1984]

I'm not sure if the guy was on meth, or possibly going through withdrawals or something. Or maybe he really was mentally ill, or most likely all of the above. But I remember that day kind being more annoying than anything else. I was scheduled to work in a different department of my store and I had to divert all of the customers away from the cafe area. That day there was another not so okay in the head guy who was just being loud and really uncomfortable. I really wanted to tell him to shut the hell up and leave the store because he wasn't doing anything to better the already uncomfortable situation in the store. I've seen meth addicts before. I swear there's a drug ring around my workplace or something. Meth-heads look like someone grabbed them by the back of their head and gave them a road facial. Parts of their faces look like they've been chipped off or scrapped off with their fingernails or something like that. As far as what someone acts like when they're on meth, I'm thankful I haven't seen that yet. I hear that they are like a completely different person.

[AaronFreitas]

Insane... thanks for sharing the story :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

You make us feel your rage by showing us the depth you can go to... and the diversity you pen!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you... I told my sister that the readers on here probably think I'm some depressed psycho lol... I appreciate your review... I do have a softer side maybe I will explore that some more :)

[gabrielle]

Very intense write, Aaron. It's very difficult to reach out to someone having emotional breakdown. I would rather let someone be in the padded room than to run the risk of having him take his own life. I do like how you presented the point of view of someone having internal struggle.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Gabrielle :) It is difficult not only to reach them but to understand where their mind is. Appreciate your review :)