Empty Soul

Originally a song I wrote way back Feb 10, 2008, changed a couple things so I could share. It was written about a specific moment in my life where things weren't good.

 

Nothing's ever perfect
Nothing's ever fair
I look into these eyes
And see this blank stare

Frayed since my creation
Abandoned from the start
My mother never loved my dad
And it breaks my f*****g heart!

Made to disappoint
Destined to fail
Created for your laughter
Only I could never tell

I am so pathetic
It’s so sad to see
I am just a worthless liar
but that’s what you made of me

That’s why you did it
That’s why you left me empty
Torn between my family
And it’s not sad for you to see

Why me? Why me?
What did I do to deserve this empty destiny?
Why me? Why me?
Take my empty soul and leave me free to be

You gave me life
But left me in this empty hole
So take my life
And my empty soul

 

Author's Note

Please share your thoughts :)

Reviews

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Wow....I'd share a song to answer this, but it's not on English, and i couldn't translate yet. . so ....

i can relate to this, all too well. (except for being a liar.)

but, take a quick note, we're all here for you :)
you're not worthless.
:)
you're one of a kind. no one could even think about asking for a better friend :)

i loved the write
full rating

[Dani The Unreviewed]

www.writerscafe.org/writing/Danny15/1700613/ play tha song while reading :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

And you're welcome.

[AaronFreitas]

Awesome song to read to by the way! Almost couldn't even read your review I have my guitar on my couch next to me I wanted to start playing haha... I appreciate your feedback buddy :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

hehehe : )

[Ashley Flynn]

So, I like the rhythm of some of these. I think this needs to be rewritten as a song, preferably a rock song. Turn one of those stanzas into a good strong chorus, throw some lead guitar on that s**t and it's solid. You seem to have the same problem I have with poetry. A lot of times I end up with a lot of really good stanzas, but I can't seem to form them into a complete and coherent poem that just feels...finished. You know? But yeah. Song. Think about it.

PS: Think of like, Corey Taylor-esque vocals singing,

"WHYY YOU? Why me?
What did I do to deserve this destiny!"

Just an idea :p

[AaronFreitas]

It originally was a song that a changed up a little to post here. I am trying to find all the right mix of everything to play this. I sit here with my acoustic but it feels incomplete. I like changing it to why you... why me? I gotta play with it some more since I'm playing my guitar more and more again. And for Corey Taylor... I'm a huge fan of his. Actually got to see him perform an acoustic show in Hollywood a few months ago which was amazing. :) Thanks for your review :)

[Ashley Flynn]

Yeah, dude anytime. I had a feeling you'd be a fan. You in Hollywood? That's cool. I live in Long Beach :)

[AaronFreitas]

Nah I'm 3 1/2 hours away in boring ol Fresno haha.... I'd much rather be in Long Beach :)

[Ashley Flynn]

the lbc is pretty tight :D

[PeaceOfMind]

This is so beautiful. Okay. In love.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you so much PeaceofMind :)

[JayceeC]

I am hearing Jeremy Camp in his younger years screaming out "Take My Life" as I read this. Not sure why as this is not what he means...lol but maybe it should.

Sometimes our lives are marked with so much crap that it is hard to see the purpose or the good. Just know that I think you are a work of art in the making. Not every picture is made up of pastels. It takes the dark and vibrant to make a work really interesting. Your soul is far from empty, my friend, although maybe it is the spirit and energy to fight back that is so. Keep on. Nothing stays the same for long. That is one of life's assurances. Change is the only constant.

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks Jan..."I think you are a work of art in the making." I love that... I can use that line as inspiration :) I always appreciate your feedback and comments... I'm working on my acoustic to try and turn this into something I can play so hopefully I can make it work. :)

[JayceeC]

I'm glad there is something here you can use to lift you on the low days. It would be lovely to hear some of your songs.

[AaronFreitas]

Someday :)

[Dipanjan Dutta]

That's a beautiful writing...it has a melancholic rhythm...too good and so true a feeling

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Dipanjan :) I am still working on playing my acoustic guitar with it... just gotta find what makes me happy with it :)

[theshygirl]

love it! i can totally understand your anger, i have felt like this many times and you just created something so"real'' and pure

i love it !!!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you shygirl :) Appreciate your comments :)

[several thousand]

nope, none of us was asked if we wanted to be created or got to chose our parents for that matter. we can only try to cheat our genetic makeup and become ourselves instead of another generation of what our creators were. Why me indeed. I think a lot of people ask that question. It's a great poem Aaron. Thanks for sharing.

[AaronFreitas]

I agree my friend :) We live the life we are given and when we are able to we can choose to change the path we are on. Thanks for your review :)

[Ruth]

I would like to hear this Aaron...would make a good acoustic to me :) A driving of intensity throughout and despair felt...well layered :)

[AaronFreitas]

I am working on guitar to try and put it all together. I have no idea how my old guitarist used to play this but hopefully soon :)

[Weeping willow]

Wonderfully expressed and I have felt this way many times.I grew up with Parents who fought all the time,while I was growing up;- So it can leave a real empty hole in your heart

[AaronFreitas]

It definitely can... glad you could relate to the words in this one :)

[Mara]

Wow. This is amazing,
I really love that last stanza, so many emotions.. life, death and emptiness, you described it all so well
thank you for sharing this great piece!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Tee :) I'm glad you liked it... appreciate your comments :)

[Myzery]

I like it. I feel like it makes the message clear but also masks some of the deeper pain and feeling. =]

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Myzery :)