Void

I don't know how to write poems. I don't really know how to write much of anything. Which is why I wish and hope you amazing people can give me pointers.

Breath is supposed to be full of peace
and solace
One inhale by the count of two
One exhale by the count of four
maybe the structure is the cause of the momentary blurred vision

Feelings of a concaved chest, clenched fists
Opening my mouth as wide as a great void
Mild asphyxiation is still prominent, it
Frightens me
Like a man relentlessly occupied with his mortality
I too have become gassed
Will I ever see tomorrow past?

Reviews

[Carolynn]

Take a deep breath and get back to the first half - great poem expressing completely opposite feelings

[Timewilltell]

Thank you so much