dear friend

dear friend

A Poem by Chelsea Elizabeth

please don't tell me
you're okay when
i can tell you're not


and don't say you're
tired
i know that
excuse
i use it
a lot


just don't


thank you



p.s. i love you
that's why i ask
and ask again
i don't do that
to people who
aren't my friends

© 2008 Chelsea Elizabeth


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Reviews

i hate it when that happends..but its shows ur an amazing friend i loved this. i agree with bekah i wasn't expectin it to rhyme but it did and that wassss great love your work you have major talent.

Posted 15 Years Ago


i think the way the rhythm switches contributes to the feeling of the poem.
you dont have everything neatly in line when you're frustrated.
the i love the last stanza. i wasnt expecting it to rhyme, but i'm thrilled that it does.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Frustrating, isn't it when you know something is wrong and the person won't admit it? I love your poem. It is different than anything I have read. How refreshing. I love your beginning:

please don't tell me
you're okay when
i can tell you're not


and don't say you're
tired
i know that
excuse
i use it
a lot


just don't


thank you


Impactful. To the point. Good rhyme. Fantastic job. Thanks for sharing, my friend.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

i really enjoyed reading this.
great job!!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I like this

I hate it when my friends do this to me

but at the same time, i find myself proclaiming to be ok

when I'm not

but how do i describe the tumult inside of me when I can't even describe it to myself

plus

I hate to burden people with my crap

c a i t

you know?

quite the paradox

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

i like the idea behind this one, and i like the rhyme through the first two stanzas. it seems to shift after that, and i don't think it's quite as strong.
but i do like this one.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

hmmm..

it seemed a little off rhythm to me

the tempo isn't strong, clear cut

but i enjoyed it

c a i t

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Very nice. I think the reason we tell eachother we are fine when things are not so fine is either because we don't want to burden our friends or we ourselves don't really know how we feel. I'm guilty of using the tired line a lot myself.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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471 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 10, 2008

Author

Chelsea Elizabeth
Chelsea Elizabeth

TX



About
My name's Chelsea and I'm a college student. I'm also a Christian. I've been writing stories since I was pretty young and, at the age of 9 or 10 I decided I wanted to be an author. I have completed.. more..

Writing