This poem, I have no idea what to make of it. Just being a teenager, I always see the world as the same. All my teenage friends wear the same clothing, hoodies and jeans! That seems to be a uniform. Also it seems to be uniform to be mean. Humanity seems to get off on just pure evil. So I wrote a poem about always marching to the drums of evil. Never stopping and looking around! Also about the effect, it kind of leaves a stamp on you of evil. Or a tattoo kind of thing! Please review! Also I'm trying a new style, using stanzas, so would you mind giving me a bit on what you thought of them? Thanks (:
Thought I'd also mention, not my picture.
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clothed in sin is good trigger title....
the actions to protect seem wrong but when goodness stays silent - terrorism flourishes....america fights for her freedoms; every night we feel safe to go to bed; remember some aren't so lucky....unfortunately our troops have to sacrifice their freedom for ours....protecting our life of sin....
This poem reminds me that humanity isn't what it use to be and we need to take a look at ourselves in order to fix the problem. It also reminds me that humanity starts with human and we all sin and make mistakes. This is what I see in this poem and the thoughts that were going through my mind as I read it. The flow of the poem is easy to follow and it believe that many people will all have their on take on this piece. Inventive and thought provoking.
i like the metaphores in this poem and the message, they're very strong. i also like the repetetivness, it kind of masks the horror in a child's way, like your explaining this to a child (thats a compliment :))
about the stanzas, seeing as i really don't know much about poetry at all, i don't know the technicallities of them. But i liked it anyway. :D
Youth today seem to have no originality and want to be just like their peers..For me, that would get awful boring...what they all try to dress and act the same is like a herd of animals that when scares runn together off of a cliff..Valentine
I don't see it as the teens i see it as socity the wrong in the world this is how i see the world i don't trust the goverment this world was never this bad but man can crave power money greed not all so many things in in the world misslead ones and push the from god one that does love them the world the devil can make them think he doesn't and it's what were taught the friends we hang with what the schools teach is why i make sure my son won't do that and some don't that needed love the world is a very unkind place but i have also learned many are healing and it's there pain lashing out. then theres ones that never let go of it and it can make them suffer wound what goes on in some minds that don't feel guilty but every one has a hard life but don't allow any evil of the world to steal your joy. and it isn't allows the teens falt some parents don't care or only teach what they was taught or know i am not pointing fingers and many teens and kids just want to fit in we all have been there before. cause as a child i had a rough life but i kept on going never gave up. i love this poem nice work the words and lines jumped out at me i am gonna favorite this. god bless lily
Good job with this. My only criticism (and it may not be a valid one) is that the last verse changes form from the other verses. Maybe you did that intentionally for effect, idk. Great idea and content!
What lovely boots in the photo! This poem has great rhythem as the troops march. Your use of stanzas works very well and the repitition on the last line each time. So many varying pictures can be provoked by this too. A Great write!
Your poetry is getting stronger every time I read a new piece! This one really hits the nail on the head driving it home with a single bash. It applies much wider than I suspect you meant when you wrote it.
Some of us 'hu-hm' older people have seen the same patterns from our generation and those right up to now. Hippies, Mods, rockers, Punks.... Moshers, Chav's....Troop troop troop!
It also reminded me of history. Hitler youth for example. This poem expresses so much in just four short stanzas!
Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
- Carl Sandburg
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