Dreams

Dreams

I’m off on a ship

It’s sailing in perfect harmony with the waves

The waves of my dreams

The ship’s blanketed

With a virgin sheet of white

Of the innocent child.

 

I’m off on a ship

Being tousled by waves

Night pitches creatures

That attack my boat

The boat no longer sails

It’s shipwrecked

On an island called reality.

 

 

Author's Note

Just been feeling defeated about my dreams----
Tell me what you think :)

Reviews

[hannajade]

Yess this is fantastic!!
okay so when we are children, we think that life will be so easy and can't wait to grow up, but in teen-age hood we realize that life's not just a walk in a park, this poem is so true! which is why I'm giving it 100/100! However, dreams may be hard to get, but as long as they aren't too irrational/dumb/etc, they can be got, so chelsea, I'm sure that you will be able to get yours!!!
:)
thought i'd mention this quote, as it is very inspirational and similar to this poem, 'I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.' ~ Jimmy Dean

[Kat24]

hi,
this is really good. Kat24

[Casey Wolfe]

I think this poem is a really great metaphor about life. Nice job!

[SOUL LESS]

The last two lines are perfect. No need to change them. Waves...the word is repeated. Dun do that.
It’s sailing in perfect harmony with the waves...this is ridiculous. It is prose. A complete sentence. Make it sound more poetic. Let it flow. Cut it short.
You lack description. The sea to you is only waves. if that is so, use stuff to substitute the waves, e.g vasts of water, white galloping horses, rippling surfaces. etc.
Night pitches creatures...this i do not get.
The overall imagery is fine. Just substitute the waves. Dun mention dreams at the beginning. That is of the essence.

[SOUL LESS]

but as long as they aren't too irrational/dumb/etc.lololol...i like hannah's style, she is sarcastic and inoffensive.
Dun write the waves of my dreams. Dun mention they are dreams. That way it'll be a much more powerful poem.

[Arabdha]

i like the imagery that comes to your mind when you go through this one..and no matter how clichéd it may seem life is all about believing in the beauty of your dreams..i really like the write..good going..!

[Calypso]

Dreams are amazing. I'm always disappointed if I wake up and I didn't have a dream. Well done.

[Shardbearer99]

I'm not sure if I can clasify my dreams as "dreams" as dreams; they sometimes feel more like nightmares. They can be quite upsetting, horrifying at times. They show me things that I don't want to happen - like losing my gran; she isn't very well at the moment, so I guess that's what's getting me down sometimes. By reading your poem you can tell that you have always wanted a family of your own; you dream of having a child someday with somebody you love. You created wonderful imagery to create these feelings. Wonderful writing

[GrandDystopia]

Brilliantly descriptive, its always a pain when reality shows up to ruin everything, sometimes it would be nice to just dream.
Loved it, keep up the good work:)

[Poetic Beauty]

Reality can be hard but it makes us stronger. keep striving for your dreams it is never too late to achieve them.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

what an vivid dream, i love your description of it... its open to interpretations the way you wrote it. nice!