Reptile

Reptile

A Poem by Damian Alan Gray

Abominable cynic, like a
cyberspace mimic, like an
art house critic, always
hidden behind your walls.

Wireless royalty of
digitized fantasy
cocooning reality for
the greater anonymity.

Mechanical monkey throwing
s**t at catastrophe and
donning robes of iniquity
shielding emerald insanity.

Spitting hate in the wind
vomiting lies and sin your
hell won’t begin to
provide justice within.

Repugnant reptile gnawing
holes through security and
offering naught but
cryptological obscurity.
 

© 2008 Damian Alan Gray


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Damn Damian, the flow in this piece is stunning. I could feel it! The language flirts with a whimsical, lyrical feel, which definitely adds to the vibe. I think you've done a fine job with this piece. It gets the point across without relying on heavy things to make the reader think. I'm thinking.....

These lines were a strong hook, quite possibly some of the best I've encountered:

Abominable cynic, like a
cyberspace mimic, like an
art house critic, always
hidden behind your walls

The sing-song quality makes that mimicing theme come to life. Excellent write, my friend. Although I didn't have to tell you that. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Wow, this is a nice piece. I could perfectly picture a variety of different reptiles and I think you not only captured their appearance, but you also gave them a sort of mischeaveous personality without a whole lot of words, which takes soem skill. I particularly loved the first stanza which abolutely hooked me and pulled me in. The poem is definitely unique in the way you wrote it and it all flows perfectly, thanks to the cadence of the words. The only small criticism, and it's purely a personal preference, would be the structure. It seemed like complete thoughts were broken up at odd places and the ending placed in the next line. It continued throughout, so I know it wasn't just a fluke and it was something intentional, but I found myself pausing the end of each line, almost serching for the rest of the thought before going on to the next. It wasn't a huge stopper, but it did make me hesitate while reading it, just slightly. Anyway, like I said, it's more of a personal preference. It was a great write and masterfully put together!

Posted 12 Years Ago


In the third stanza:
Mechanical monkey throwing
s**t at catastrophe and
donning robes of iniquity
shielding emerald insanity

I see a referrence to the Cowardly Lion. The monkey disregarding the event of catastrophe as if it has the mind to compose an opinion on such a complex dilemma. The monkey being the cynic referred to in the first stanza.
Then:
Spitting hate in the wind
vomiting lies and sin your
hell won't begin to
provide justice within.

the author is telling the cynical monkey to "go to hell" so to speak but to no avail
Repugnant reptile gnawing
holes through security and
offering naught but
cryptological obscurity.
The author is faced with the symbolic representation of "the serpent", asking, what is so evil about such the beast that brings such satisfaction in this duplicitous 'holy" world where it's image has become so widely worshipped and where it(the serpent)has been most notoriously acknowledeged. In a sense offering to provoke thoughts in regard to "penis envy". There is a strong independent woman speaking in this piece? How empathetic of you, Damian. I appreciated this strong piece wholeheartedly. Is it a wonder I adore your work to such the degree.


Posted 12 Years Ago


Very well written and well defined, the messege strikes all senses. Nice job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


the rhyme really works here - best rhyming I've seen from you

forMARZly yours

Posted 12 Years Ago


excellent work. never once did the piece falter in tone or pace. and it rhymes! extrodinarily well too. (shock) again, reads like something u'd find in a literary pub. smooth and lyrical. creates a world through style that sucks the reader in.
well done damian.


Posted 12 Years Ago


ooh makes me want to get a can of Raid or something. I think I'm itching. wait... what?

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wonderful meter.
Not constricted by your choice of rhyme but a way of showing the fluidity of the piece, which to me added to the reptilian aspect.
A bitter, jaded opinion on things that you feel you should know better about.
Excellent!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Amazing..the rhythm and the flow of the rhyme is just so skillful and well done. The rage and anger is clear and you have given it a voice! I too like the line, "vomiting lies and sin your hell won't begin to
provide justice within". Fantastic!

Posted 12 Years Ago


This was a fun read - spitfire Suess as if the cat in the hat chugged down some moonshine and put one of those critics who tried to shoot his style down - in their slithering place.

The line breaks in the fourth stanza through me off a tad - maybe it was how I read it aloud.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Powerful words. The anger and the disgust so evident and yet almost a respect for the beast that lives within. I loved the part about "your hell won't begin to provide justice within." Very well written.

Posted 12 Years Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

948 Views
40 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 10, 2008
Last Updated on June 24, 2008

Author

Damian Alan Gray
Damian Alan Gray

Spring Hill, FL



About
Damian Alan Gray is not an author, he is a writer. The difference being, of course, that an author's daily routine normally includes scheduling interviews with Oprah and book signings at Barnes and No.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


1952 Mommy 1952 Mommy

A Poem by holly