Reptile

Abominable cynic, like a
cyberspace mimic, like an
art house critic, always
hidden behind your walls.

Wireless royalty of
digitized fantasy
cocooning reality for
the greater anonymity.

Mechanical monkey throwing
s**t at catastrophe and
donning robes of iniquity
shielding emerald insanity.

Spitting hate in the wind
vomiting lies and sin your
hell won’t begin to
provide justice within.

Repugnant reptile gnawing
holes through security and
offering naught but
cryptological obscurity.
 

Reviews

[Collette]

Damn Damian, the flow in this piece is stunning. I could feel it! The language flirts with a whimsical, lyrical feel, which definitely adds to the vibe. I think you've done a fine job with this piece. It gets the point across without relying on heavy things to make the reader think. I'm thinking.....

These lines were a strong hook, quite possibly some of the best I've encountered:

Abominable cynic, like a
cyberspace mimic, like an
art house critic, always
hidden behind your walls

The sing-song quality makes that mimicing theme come to life. Excellent write, my friend. Although I didn't have to tell you that. :)

[Drifting Blue]

Nice technique. Love how you string words together here. Thanks for adding me to friends

[Bill Grimes Jr.]

I love the flow of this poem.....

"Mechanical monkey throwing
s**t at catastrophe"

That's a profound statement my friend. Well done!

Peace,

Bill :-)

[Jane Doe]

Simply amazing! I was enthralled from the first line. Superlative writing!

[HoorayForUnderdog]

WOW!...I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!

[Crimson1]

I was loving the sense of how this was hinting at the reptilian brain that we will never escape, thats something you don't see enough art on you know, then this line sent me to the moon:

"Mechanical monkey throwing
s**t at catastrophe and
donning robes of iniquity
shielding emerald insanity."

Great work man.

[Constance]

I see you've edited this a little. I love how the inner rhyme continues now. It made this work simply sing and vibrate with fluency and sharp distinction all at once. Brilliant. Leave it just like it is now. It's perfect!

[justjenn_2u]

Such a deep, lyrical and direct poem. The symbolism of the reptile as to that of a human with characteristics which are inhumane is brilliant.

This piece has such great rhyme quality that I did not want to stop reading.

Way to go, you rock!

[Brette Medb]

This has a really good rhythm to it and the words flow perfectly. I could see this becoming a longer piece and expanding the thoughts already presented but even with that it was unique in its own right. Beautiful use of imagery and words.

Brette

[luthien7]

Nothing left to be said except Excellent job! I'm glad I got a chance to read this - It gave me a much needed grin this morning. Your choice of words is inspired. It has teeth and doesn't hesitate to bite back.

[Susan S.]

Damn you Damian! I wish I hadn't read any of the other reviews. 'Cause what I'm going to do now is going to earn me both a dunce cap and a place on quite a few people's hit lists.

I hated this piece. It was profoundly disturbing and extremely well thought out. Except for specific areas where I don't see the breaking of the rules of poetry, it was utterly amazing. The venom you spew at these guys! You must really hate them. Let me guess. They trashed a drive with a whole bunch of your poetry on it? May they rot in hell.

Now to specifics. In the first verse you break from the rhyming theme then go back to it. Why was that? And was there a point beyond evenness of line to break the line away from the rhyme? Knowing the kind of time spent on this poem I'd say there is. The only guess I have is that these kind of geeks are usually somewhat anal and to have this off-kilter attitude about the line break would drive them crazy.

Which you obviously want to do in spades according to stanza four. But I move ahead of myself. Stanza three has my brain tied in knots. First, I'd call them moniacle not mechanical, but that isn't anything more than taste. What is the catastrophy that he's throwing s**t at? I can see "throwing s**t for catastrophy" or "throwing s**t to catastrophy" but "at" I can't figure.

Then the next line, "donning robes of iniquity" doesn't track for me. He doesn't think they're robes of iniquity and if you think of them as iniquity, then why use the priestly or kingly statement of donning robes? Now the "shielding emerald insanity" kept me laughing for a full minute when I finally got it. I kept going "emerald? emerald? What kind of insanity can be described as emerald?" You know what made it tick for me? I went to write this and used the word green instead of emerald. You coulda knocked me over with a feather! Damn you Damian! I hate working this hard! :)

And last but not least, you are the master.