Stay In or Stay Out?

Stay In or Stay Out?


Marital chord has not been very strong these days. Divorce for anything and for any reason has been very common now a days. Are people forgetting the God's Standard today???


One fine Sunday morning I was reading the newspaper where I found an article on ‘Court Rules for Divorce’. There are few statements that caught my eye. These statements are mostly influenced by the modern life style of people and I have given some counter statements based on God’s standard against each of those statements. (The statements in RED are given in the newspaper and statements made by me are in GREEN).

        Now a couple can seek divorce on grounds of incompatibility or irreconcilable differences.

The Bible says that ‘you shouldn’t separate what God has joined together…’ (Matt. 19:6). The Bible allows us divorce only in one case and that is ‘Sexual Immorality’ (Matt. 19: 9). 

        “Divorces don’t rock the instititution of marriage. It’s not as if marriages aren’t on the rise. The argument of protecting society by toughening laws doesn’t hold. People should be respected for taking decisions.”

‘People should be respected for taking decisions.’ OH! Then God should be neglected! God’s rules can be violated! God rules are taken for granted in today’s world. Awful! 

        Why not accept the fact that a couple isn’t getting along and has-mutually-decided to part ways? Like Shweta and Shantanu. Barely six months into their marriage, they go to the lawyer, sit across the table like old friends and decide to call it quits, due to “irreconcilable differences”. They even throw in a hug and hand shake, once the deed is signed.

Today man has become so intolerant that it seeks divorce for incompatibility or irreconcilable differences. How the relationships are becoming. I think nothing is irreconcilable. Every relationship is reconcilable. True love can repair and reconcile.

        Women are now financially independent and, with their increased social exposure, have gained in maturity and confidence. They are proactively taking relationship decisions. They decide whether to stay in a marriage or opt out.

The most suitable companion of man is taking decisions whether to stay in a marriage or opt out of it. The purpose to build a home, which God had given to her in the beginning, cannot hold her back anymore.  

        From a Marriage or family oriented Culture; we have shifted to a couple-oriented society, which is slowly moving towards single hood.

God said man should not stay alone (Genesis 2:18). But man wants to be alone, ‘single hood’. 

        New Concepts, such as personal space and freedom, are gaining precedence over traditional institutions of marriage and family.

God created marriage and family in His divine way and the value He put in it is also divine and unique. But these days that institution is neglected in fact destroyed and people have made their separate forms of living because of their selfishness. 

        You cannot petition for divorce before completing a year of marriage. You have to produce substantive proof that you and your spouse have been “Living separately” and have had no conjugal relations for a year. Also, you are given six months “to think things over”. So, You have to wait one-and-a-half-years, before you and your spouse can finally put ways.

I really appreciate the government and court rules that they are not in haste in breaking a marriage though legally. They search for ‘substantive proof’ that the couples applied for divorce have been “Living separately” and have had no conjugal relations for a year. 

Once I was discussing with an advocate on this issue. And she told me ‘when the couples come for divorce we literally counsel them to rethink and we give them time for the same.’ She further said that ‘we try our best to reunite them and restore the relationship.’ Wow! Commendable! 

The court might make the procedure easy but the reason behind the procedure should be revised and should be based on God’s standard. 

I would really like the readers to give their feedbacks on these STATEMENTS, which can really help couples to get rid of making foolish emotional decisions.  



Author's Note

Please give your views about the conditions of todays marriages & families and the reasons behind the divorces...

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I have been married 39 years this coming May 1st. Our earlier years were rather rocky but our golden years have become sweet. Lots of ups and downs, lots of give and takes. Perhaps there are times when a marriage should be desolved but only AFTER all avenues have been tried. Wonderful as always.


Posted 14 Years Ago

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