Maggie Jones

So I’m sitting at my desk shooting spitballs with Seth,

(Seventh grade, Ms. Van Pappelon)

Hoping it’s not grilled cheese in the cafeteria again,

When she walks into the room:

Maggie Jones.

 

This girl would give me a hard-on in a coma.

Well developed for her age,

Some might say.

Long black hair

Smoother than Ken Griffey, Jr.’s swing

(In the ‘90s of course)

Deep green eyes,

And that skirt she’s wearing is riding higher and higher.

 

I’ve thought about it a lot,

And I’ve decided today

I’m going to ask Maggie Jones out.

 

The hours ‘til school lets out pass

Slower than Grandma climbing a flight of stairs.

The bell finally rings.

Let the match begin.

 

A twelve-year-old with a porno can’t get hard

Faster than seventh graders can clear a classroom.

As everyone else scurries out, I approach Maggie,

Making my move like a one-armed man juggles.

 

My nerves are eating through me

Like maggots on roadkill.

I try to keep it under control–

While I’m at it, I’ll just raise the dead from the grave.

So there I am,

Ready to pop the question.

And I kind of just spit it out,

“Maggie will you go out with me?”

 

Then it swoops in like a crashing Airbus,

A punch in the gut from a heavyweight champ;

“What do you mean you don’t even know my name?

We’ve lived on the same street since grade two.”

 

Defeated, crushed, squashed and pulped like orange juice,

I walk 10,000 miles to get back home.

The front door seems almost as heavy as my heart.

I’m dragging my feet more than Spot drags his a*s.

 

The next day I can’t bring myself to return fire to Seth,

When this girl walks in I’ve never seen before.

Smooth blonde hair, short denim skirt.

“Meet your new classmate,” says Ms. Van Pappelon,

“Katie Smith.”

 

I think about it a bit,

And I decide that today

I’m going to ask Katie Smith out.

Reviews

[Killian]

This was a fun read, the images and references you made are quite humouous, like the baseball swing refference. The descriptions go so well for the theme, the heavyweight punch, the orange juice, they're all reminiscent of the school zone, of course I guess that was the plan, but I'll be one to say it was really good.

[Looouise]

I'm going to agree with that review down below mine...
:]
I loved the imagery and references.
It was great fun to read.
:]
well done
[for a science-math guy getting into writing, you've done quite well]
:]