The Central Science

My sincere apologies, but I just couldn't keep this to myself.

It’s a science, really–

the study of ta-tas,

Ta-talogy.

 

All men are at least amateur ta-talogists,

however, many of us are quite skilled.

I like to think I’m at a professional level,

but I don’t do it for the money.

 

Like all of the truly great sciences,

ta-talogy takes years to master.

One must have a keen eye for detail,

making precise and accurate observations.

 

The good ta-talogist will examine closely

how each specimen moves and differs from others.

He marks the shape and size for later review

and does all of the required reading.

 

Of course, nothing can replace hands-on exposure,

so I urge all budding ta-talogists,

do not fear reaching out to give one a pet

or even a squeeze or light pinch.

 

You will find that they are very responsive,

surprisingly excitable to the most subtle caressing.

As such, the inexperienced ta-talogist

should be wary about handling them alone.

 

It doesn’t take long to discover that

you get out of this discipline what you put in.

Diligent workers are always rewarded tenfold

as they gain proficiency and their own unique mode.

 

So please, do be kind to the ta-tas

for providing us with such fascinating study,

and no matter where your research may take you,

do not forget those we’ve lost in our pursuit of answers.

Reviews

[Initium]

Very demeaning to women, but extremely funny.

[lovelyricalpoetry]

Cute! Well put together...you really did the "leg work" on this one! giggle ...quite enjoyable even from a woman's point of view.