Hanahaki

Prompt Jan 25, 2020: "Are ― do those flowers have canine teeth?" "Interesting that you can identify them specifically as canine teeth." "Do the goddang flowers have teeth?!"

.

Pair of roses,

Whispering softly

Into each other's

Petals

.

She told me pretty things

About myself,

And so I listened

To the devil

.

Her eyes so wide

I fell behind

The lie she dug

In a gaze's grave,

.

That tourmaline,

Sticky sweet chocolate scene

Pupils dilated

When it's far too late

.

She told me she wasn't

Big on poetry,

Not a fan of flowers

And wine

.

She told me,

"Please, get over me

But won't you be

My Valentine?"

.

As springs pressed on,

She pushed me down

With the weight of

Her canine teeth

.

Tearing me up,

Weeding up the bud

Of the shell and the husk

She made of me

.

And to this day,

Though the rain washed away

The rose that threatened

My will to bloom,

.

I suffer from

Your doglike bites,

Scars in my petals

Like bones in a tomb

.

.

Do you see what you've done to me?

.

Can't you tell that you're drowning me?

.

I cry out to the stars

When it gets cold and dark,

Cursing my wine red remnants

Under the moon.

Author's Note

Ignore basic grammatical errors when giving critiques, please - I'm aware of the rules I'm breaking, but I feel restricted when following these rules. Due to my mental health and since I have such a hard time getting my thoughts across, I'd rather break a few rules than be grammatically "perfect." Just let me write for the fun of it and so I can cope with my experiences - it's not that deep.

Reviews

[Nix is typing...]

I think this is a really great poem!!!
You shouldn't have to worry about grammatical errors when writing a poem, poetry should be free, so don't pay 'tention to the people who don't like your poetry because it's not "Grammatically perfect". Poetry's not supposed to be perfect, it's supposed to be something that comes from the heart or brain or legs or arms (lol). Whether it be grammatically correct or not. I, for one, think this is a great poem. Don't listen to the people who say it's not, okay? 😊

100/100

Nix ❤️😊

[living lavender]

this one hit deep...beautiful rhythm. enticing wordplay.
wasn't your chose to be torn apart from the inside out.
but hard to let go of something that was once part of you.
{completely relatable.}

[jacob erin-cilberto]

roses are red
violets achuu
I am once bitten
now always blue.

I was looking at a picture in my doctor's office today.
it is a picture of a flower, but from across the room it looks like the neck and head of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
How odd the coincidence of seeing that and now reading your poem
we spring new seeds, we regrow ourselves, but those teeth marks regrow with us.
j.

[John the Baptist]

We've all been there at least once. Learn from it and let go of it.

[chrysantheranium]

Oh, if it only were that simple.