The Symphony

my first piece that doesn't rhyme. what a milestone! this may or may not be inappropriate to some readers

When they first saw each other, there was nothing.

Just music.

A song only they could hear. A sound rising from the depths of their core, a place that they themselves never knew could be awaken. A strange new voice they instantly recognized as each others' without a single word spoken. In that moment, they knew the melody was too powerful not to share.

It enthralled them.

Compelling them to let each other into a place they already were. With only a heartbeat's hesitance and absolutely no resistance, they struck a chord. Their hearts attuned, they could not match the prelude that enveloped them into an overture of embraces, holding them before their bodies even moved. Approaching, their souls crescendoed into a gratitude for what was about to play out.

Their smile, a pitch rising to a touch.

Their touch, a pitch rising to a kiss.

She trusting him, because she knew she could. She knew she wanted to.

He holding her, because he knew he could. He knew he needed to.

Running his fingers through her hair, each strand was a string, releasing note after note of melodic silk, mellifluous to all his senses.

She breathed upon his neck. A gentle breeze that blew through him, not by him. A harmony no arrangement of woodwinds could match in quality of sound or longevity of impact.

In unison, buttons were bypassed by frantic hands whose intent kept focused yet trembling. Every article of clothing plucked like a harp played by an angel, a small yet significant gift from heaven.

The song in their essence swelled and repeated. Reprise after reprise.

There was no conductor. No one lead. No one followed.

There were no lyrics. The resonance they now shared had no need for words.

There was no structure.

There was no rhythm.

There was no beat.

Just music.

Author's Note

what do you think about the spacing of lines? too much? not enough? any suggestions would be appreciated

Reviews

[Deandra Dawn]

I loved this. It has a good flow, I am just not sure about the indents. It was a bit distracting for me. I wanted to focus on nothing except for the words and the picture you were painting.

[alanwgraham]

A great idea to use this metaphor of music and very well executed. I can't imagine why you think this might be inappropriate for some. I feel the layout doesn't look quite right. The indents on the short lines make it look a bit awkward. Perhaps spacing it into paragraphs might help. It's quite concise - would it be worth trying a more poetic structure? I noticed two minor slips - near the start 'awaken' should be 'awoken' and then towords the end, 'no one lead' should read 'no one led'.
Well done!
Alan
Would you find the time to read my story 'between heaven and earth' Thanks!

[harry gharial]

This is amazing :) it certainly tells about the power of love!!!

[Jordan Williams]

Thank you so much : )

[emmajoy]

There's so much beautiful phrasing in this post but, I wonder, is it natural, is it how a person really speaks about such a powerful emotion? For me there are times when the sentences are stilted, sharp.. is that really how love flows?
.
I want to admire these words, their intentions, plus the way you've presented them but after reading three times, have found the presentation overly dramatic. BUT know that deep inside it is the most wonderful intention especially by way of music, the way it effects feelings, how sounds wrap around each and every one of us (unless tone.deaf)

[Jordan Williams]

I don't know. I don't know anything about love. Most everything I write is overdramatic. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing

[Aventicus]

Question, what about the events that transpire after the symphony? What then? Shall the symphony continue or shall it change to a different composition?

[Jordan Williams]

It depends on how strong the music really is.

[Raizel West]

This piece sent chills down my spine it is so beautifully written and your choice of words is breath-taking. I think the line spacing is perfect for this style of poetry, I can't wait to see more of your work.

[Jordan Williams]

Wow, that's really sweet of you to say. Thank you so much for the encouragement.

[Benjamin Kroeger]

This is an interesting poem, you were creative to make so many references to different music-related words fall into your main story so easily, which is beautifully written. Well done!

[Jordan Williams]

Wow. Thank you so much.

[Samuel Dickens]

The spacing, etc, seems fine to me, but I'm far from any kind of authority on such things. The writing itself is very good. I found the concept of love making analogous to musical instruments quite interesting, and it seemed a kind of full circle, as some instruments, such as the violin, said to resemble the female anatomy. And flutes, well....

[Jordan Williams]

Thank you so much. A flute? I was thinking a harmonica.