The Gorgeous Details

He always remembered the gorgeous details

Like the cuts, and the rips, and the digs in her nails

He remembered her mouth that never quite smiled 

And the green in her eyes that were darting and wild

He remembered her wearing a tattoo, grey and black

Dancing down her pretty ribcage, and slightly reaching towards her back

Of an hellebore flower surrounding 4 words

Scripted in a pretty language from some other world

He remembered the fact that her legs always shook

From the cold, and all the amphetamines she took

The way that her mind and her knees were a bit broken 

How she carried blue-eye charms as superstitious tokens

How good she was with impersonations

And had she taken her medicine, the art of conversation

He remembered the way she sang and she hummed

Underground songs when she was feeling bummed

He remembered her being Catholic on Christmas

she found comfort in the smell of holy water and incense

He remembered her praying to Dymphna the saint

She said "just to be careful, just to be safe"

The way she would get zoned in on her writing

For hours and hours she'd just keep on typing

The way all her dreams were to be what she couldn't

And to go places and experience things that she shouldn't

He remembered her happy and when she was enough

And how she gave you everything when she was in love

He never remembered her down, he never remembered her angry

He never remembered her anxious, he never remembered her crazy

He never remembered wishing he could make it okay

He never remembered her lying and pushing away

He never remembered her brilliant and crying in pain

"Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it all go away!"

He never remembered her saying her final goodbye

"I hate you, I hate me, I hate our life

I wish I could love you more than I hate

but my brain is broken and I don't think I can take

another second in this hell." Then leaving as she had before

When she was thirteen, sixteen, twenty, and now twenty-four

He thought it was his fault, but she knew it was hers

He didn't know that she believed her own words

She knew she was leaving the best thing in her life

Now she was alone with her demons, but she thought it was right

She could be Catholic on Christmas and pray to the saints

She could write down smart songs, and tattoo her ribcage

She could self-medicate, and dash her ambitions

She could be adorably mad, and quite superstitious

But all of these charmingly quirky charades

Made the problems seem bigger in future days

She had to mend her self on her own before she loved him

Everything she ever was was fading, turning grim

He never knew this, and she'd never tell

She knew he remembered the gorgeous details.

Reviews

[Richard]

You're really talented and this was full of gorgeous details through and through probably the best poem on this site :) I love that 'she' was catholic on christmas

[Meghan]

Thank you, that is so nice of you to say. The Catholic on Christmas, and the stanza about the tattoo are my favorite parts haha I wrote those first and based the rest of the poem off that.

[Richard]

aw wow no it's amazing and I like that you got some small ideas and wrote around them .. I do that with poems and songs I take one idea or line I like and sometimes a title actually a lot that way and then work around it ... I think working with ideas is the most important way to work ... a concept is a concept and all that but ideas are the fruit :)

[Myenigma]

its a good story, we always remember the good details.., and yes we gotta love ourselves first before we can love someone else.

[London Poet]

Some very well crafted poetry and a fascinating, beautiful and tragic story that it tells. The very last two or three verses somehow lost the flow somewhat for me although there was a real pleasure in reading this. Thanks for sharing it.

[emmajoy]

My goodness, a poem from both mind and heart!

This is such a wonderfully colourful and powerful flow of words, in most places, meter.grand. Plus, you use or create incredible phrases or stanzas,

'He thought it was his fault, but she knew it was hers ~ He didn't know that she believed her own words ~ She knew she was leaving the best thing in her life ~ Now she was alone with her demons, but she thought it was right']

Your writing deserves more attention. I'll be back.

[krish]

nice....................

[A Girl]

Holy s**t. It was marvelous, loved the ending.

[R J Askew]

This is the best poem I've read today and I must have looked at well over 20 maybe 30. It's the best because it's sustained in observation and builds a patient and delicate portrait of a live and vigorous soul. It is like a novel has been stripped back to its bare details.

[Molly Garnet]

Your writing style is beautiful. "her mouth that never quite smiled" and the part about being Catholic on Christmas gave me chills. Certain lines scattered throughout the poem are just beautiful. Honestly.

[Meghan]

Thank you so much for all your kind reviews! I really appreciate it :)

[Sarah]

Its quite sad but very good