Pep Talks and Casaba Melons

We all talk to ourselves, right? Right. From pep talks to self-slamming... we all do it. Right? Right.

I need to write something...

Here we go...

Something about love, or pain. Something that'll matter to people, something they can relate to. But something...

Big shocker. No really, love? What are you, cliche? Why don't you write about something you're more familiar with, like boiling pasta or sucking on peanut M&M's till there's nothing but the peanut, eating the peanut, and then taking a nap. Maybe you'll have more success there. I'm sorry, kid, you just ain't got the chops to write seriously. And besides, how will they take you seriously if you don't know squat about your subject material? 

Love. Give me a break!

I happen to have members of the community who actually like my work. And maybe I don't know that much about love... who does, really? But I do know a bit about pain. Maybe I should write about that.

First of all, your mother doesn't count as "community". And secondly, people have enough of their own pain, doubt they want to read about yours. Heck, what about my pain? I have to listen to your constant need for self-fulfillment, don't I? That subject's already overdone. You need to write what's core, or none at all.

Then what do you call this?

Crap.

Oh, bugger off, you cynic... Maybe something more up-beat... I could write about cooking.

I could just see the book on New York Times Best Seller's list. Reviewers thrilled about your skills in making steam and runny ice. Your french toast tastes like tuna, but the way.

How about something steamy, scandalous? The public loves a scandal.

Scandal my foot! You wear knickers up to your neck. Your idea of a date is with some guy with a nose like a casaba melon, whilst you discuss Planet of the Apes and perpetual motion!

I never said it wouldn't be realistic. And the only good human, is a dead human!

Oh, look at you trying to be clever. Ha. No, write something core, or nothing at all. People, Slim, people. That's human. That's a universal topic. That's core. Write what you know, remember? And what do you know?

Life as a traveling artist in the summer? A life like a part-time gypsy?

Well, let's not get all romantic here. But yes, write about the people there. You're not going to make any money off it, but it's a start. Start at the beginning, finish at the end, and remember, we don't use words like "vermilion", and "adulation", and "murmur" in real life.

I'll try.

 

That's my girl.

Reviews

[ATG]

This was a good dialog story. It was very funny and somewhat accurate to how every writer feels about their work from time to time. It was interesting the entire time.

[Slim Pikkens]

This is my self-serving internal dialog that doesn't have a real purpose other than to spring board into another idea.