Forest of doom

Forest of doom

A Story by Bandgeek
"

You cant excape him. Everywhere you turn he is right there. He doesnt care who you are. You are in his territory. He kills slowly and painfully.

"

It was a dark and stormy night. The mother was calming her two youngest children. There family was taking there annual camping trip, and this year it started to storm. The youngest two where freaking out. There father and eldest two fell asleep perfectly.

 

When the mother finally got her two youngest kids asleep.She got out and was leaving there tent. As she was leaving their tent someone grabbed her and dragged her to the woods. She was screaming for dear life. The killer was so annoyed with hearing her screams that he grabbed his super glue out of his pocket, and glued her lips shut.He got to his destination and thrashed her into the chair and said if you move the rest of the family dies.

 

She sat there and started to bawl. He brought his hand into his coat and pooled out, very slowly a knife and one by one started to cut off her fingers.  She was trembling in fear. Tears poured down her face. When the killer saw the tears and hated them. So he just yanked her eyeballs out. She tried to scream but only a slight moan escaped.

 

He finally got her arms and legs cut off. Now all that was left was her body. He held onto his knife and cut from the chest down. The killer took each rib out. One by one. Then the lungs and his favorite part the heart.

 

///

 

When the next day came the storm was over and the family was getting up. The oldest children made the discovery first. They stepped out of there tent and saw all of there mothers pieces. The heart was the center of it. The family was mortified of the discovery. The little ones cried. The oldest grieved and the father confused.

 

They ran for there car. As they reached the car they discovered that all the tires where popped and the engine is gone. All of them grew quit knowing that a killer lurked the woods. They had no phone, no car, and now hurdling to there doom.

 

As they walked down the street trying to find another car for a ride. One of the oldest children left the group. The killer came up and grabbed her. He brought her back to the chair her mother was trapped in. She tried to run but he told her if she tried to escape he would kill her family right in front of her eyes.

 

 

 

///

 

Her family finally noticed that she was gone and started to freak out. They knew what happened, but they didn’t want to admit what happened. The father told all the kids to stay close. The farther they walked the less hope they had. They just knew that they were not going to live.

 

///

 

She sat there crying and trying to yell out in fear. The killer grabs his super glue, and glues her lips shut. She started to freak. He took out his bloody knife and started to cut her fingers off one by one.

 

The killer all of a sudden heard a big bang. He turned around and ran. While he does that the girl jumps out of her seat and runs for dear life. Hoping to find her family she finds the rode. Running full sprint she hears the killer yell. That is when she realized she made a big mistake.

 

She runs so fast that she trips. As soon as she gets up she hears the sound of her father’s voice. She tries to yell but she couldn’t. The killer knows where she is going. She finally makes it to her father. They look at her and they notice her arms missing. Her father yell are you…. Before he was able to finish the sentence she was shot in the head. She knew something was going to happen, but didn’t know when.

 

Her family was mortified. They ran in straight sprints. As they where running they saw a car. There father waved the car down. As the car slowed down and the father ran up to it.

“Can we have a lift? There is a killer in the woods. He killed my wife and child". He was just sobbing. The driver agreed. The oldest child didn’t like the look on the mans face. She was not going to get in that car, but her father talked her into getting in.

 

As they where driving down the rode the driver made a sharp turn into the woods. He had all the doors child lock locked from the outside so no one could get out.

“This is what you get for entering my woods,” he absolutely yelled it. He didn’t have time to cut them up. He reached into his coat and thrashed out his gun. Parked the car and got out. He shot the hood and the car exploded. Body parts flew. Only the killer knows.

 

The end

 

 

© 2010 Bandgeek


Author's Note

Bandgeek
Sorry cant come up with titles.
ignore the grammer
please comment.

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Featured Review

I think that you had something there, but it really needs some work. I'm trying to be honest. I think the idea was great and it was something to keep me reading...defiantly. However I personally found it rather dry. You used a lot of "the's" for sentence starters which is a bit of a turn off. I also would encourage you to find yourself to use some more descriptive words. For example (this is one of many sentences) : "He took out his gun". Took is a very weak verb that could easily been replaced.
"He thrashed out his gun" or even "He quickly grabbed his gun". Add verbs to give a more frightful appeal.
I truly think you have something there, but I believe that it needs some polishing :) Look into replacing some of the weak verbs and it'll make the scene really pop.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I think that you had something there, but it really needs some work. I'm trying to be honest. I think the idea was great and it was something to keep me reading...defiantly. However I personally found it rather dry. You used a lot of "the's" for sentence starters which is a bit of a turn off. I also would encourage you to find yourself to use some more descriptive words. For example (this is one of many sentences) : "He took out his gun". Took is a very weak verb that could easily been replaced.
"He thrashed out his gun" or even "He quickly grabbed his gun". Add verbs to give a more frightful appeal.
I truly think you have something there, but I believe that it needs some polishing :) Look into replacing some of the weak verbs and it'll make the scene really pop.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

fast very short and brutal. some errors but the point was clear. the way the killings are so blunt and in-your-face are chilling. makes it really feel like its normal for him. nice short killer story. good job

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow nice love it

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Awesome killer story. You check out my new book I am working on now. It's a musical :D

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 5, 2010
Last Updated on July 1, 2010
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Author

Bandgeek
Bandgeek

Columbus, OH



About
I haven't been on here in so long. I read through my old stuff and remembered why I was writing. I hope I can get back into the habit. I forgot how much I enjoyed it. more..

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