Trump Smokes 4 Joints/Day; Baked With The President

Imagine Donald Trump had a 5gram/day Medical Marijuana License and had been getting miraculously-stoned every day for his entire life to curb the symptoms of his psychopathy.

Sometimes as I sit on my cement-poured, lattice-covered back porch all I can do is let my mind fantastically-wonder among the weave that separates our reality from dreams.

I thought about the first time I had ever heard of Donald Trump. It was a very messed-up situation. I remember it perfectly because I had just smoked a joint on top of the Empire State Building with my friends Jenny and Christine.

It was so windy that day rolling around in my wheelchair, seeing the city-sites with my grade 12 geography class. It was 1999. I was actually in grade 11 though. Every single person who was in that class signed up for it purely to go on the trip.

Apparently Mr. D, the teacher, even dropped F-bombs as he taught geography too. Rad as F.

These were the rusty old days of pre-9/11 American security. At the American-Canadian boarder, the guards just talked a little to the bus driver and Mr. D. They didn't even come on the bus once! I could have brought a pound! F**k!

It's about a ten hour drive to get to New York City from Toronto (traffic-dependent), but the Buffalo City crossing is only a couple of hours away, at most, so as a class we were all fresh and being well-behaved kids at the time we turned Canada into America.

I was pretty pissed that I didn't bring my grass. Especially after the lax entry. I was thinking dudes with machine guns were going to be ordering dogs to bite my dick off if they smelt grass.

It was the 90's and everyone was getting as stoned as pebbles. But, it was my first time in the States, so, I wimped out and left my weed at home. So sad.

So here we are atop of The Empire State Building. I'm in my wheelchair getting pushed by my friend Christine. We went out onto the windy upper-deck to fancy our Canadian-eyes a tad across the New York City skyline, disappointed at the massive suicide-prevention bars obstructing our view. The guards were too pissy to even come out on the deck because of the high winds. Eventually, we found a nice spot where the pestering-wind was reduced and the view was pretty good.

As I stared at the wonder of the Big Apple, Jenny turned to me and said "That's Trump Tower over there".

I looked at the immaculate building and wittingly replied. "This Trump arse must have defined and specific taste. I mean, it's big and black and powerful and goes straight up higher than most of the rest. I bet he paid out the a*s for that one." The three of us chuckled.

Jenny went to grab a smoke, at least that's what I thought, but to my surprise she whipped out a wallet-flattened 1/4 gram doobie. Pathetic little thing. But, given the circumstances, it is the most bad-a*s joint I have ever smoked still to this very day.

We sparked it and the tiny little fella lasted only one single pass around the circle.

"We smoked that guy right down to the cork, as my mother would say." I joked to the three of us.

We continued our megalopolis-gaze, kinda baked but sorta-not-really. We were a shard-baked on the minimal amount of s****y grass we had just inhaled, but truly, we were all just stoned-to-all-hell on life.

I know, I know, I know. It's not as cool of a story as you may have been hoping. But I am going somewhere with this, so stay with me.

Donald Trump is an entertaining psychopath. Have you heard of him? He is that guy who has made America financially-dominant again and socially, well, about as fucked up as Bush made it in 2001. Maybe a little fucked-upper.

I frequently ask myself. "What would it be like if Donald Trump was still able to become president even if he had habitually-smoked 4 fat joints (on a 5 gram/day medical marijuana license) every day since he was 12 years old? How would his current behaviors differ? What path would he have taken to earn the presidency?"

It's the summer of 1958'. Little Donny is out back of his parent's house and getting ready to blaze his morning fatty. Little Donny's dad was way-up-deep inside little Donny's a*s again about being a wasteful part of the family. He would also say things to little Donny about how it would be impossible for him to ever fill his father's shoes. This made little Donny so sad. So sad that little Donny would smoke high THC Sativa every morning after being ripped apart emotionally by his dad to help lift his dampened-spirits before school.

Before he became chronic, little Donny would cry and cry and cry every morning after his dad would make fun of him. His dad did it to make little Donny strong, but little did little Donny's daddy know how powerful little Donny would soon become.
Little Donny loved being stoned because when he was stoned he would internalize his dad's aggression towards him so much less than when he was sober. Little Donny fell in love with the grass.

When he'd be snookered-hard on a smooth Sativa with high THC in the morning, little Donny would slide on into the hypothetical world, with all of its' endless possibilities, and suddenly truly reflect upon 'why' his dad may have been the way he was. Why did he constantly grind little Donny's little gears into fine powder? Little Donny was opening his consciousness and beginning to realize the ways of the world.

With clarity, Donny soon realized that his dad was a product of his past. He was a product of war. He was a less-intelligent person than Donny.

Donny promised himself he would get really stoned on an uplifting Sativa after every time his dad belittled him. That way, the non-violent stress wouldn't change his personality as much as it potentially could.

Donny would go to school right after his wake-and-bake.

"Top of the morning to you Donny! Have a great day at school buddy! How's your buzz Donny? You're growing so quick!" Donny's neighbours would all say as he walked on by their houses and down to the schoolyard for classes.

Feeling little-to-no stress about his dad's consistent put-downs anymore, Sativa, Donny experiences more focus at school. His comprehension of concepts and knowledge of sociological progression is so much more articulated without the stress of abuse as an anchor.

A foundation for a well-balanced, chemically-sound and rewarding personality is being healthily-developed.

Let's face it, Donny has an infectious personality and people naturally gravitate towards him. He has charisma.

Not having to make up for lack of comprehension with cockiness and cheap humour, Donny's humbleness as a 'smart-kid' blooms. He listens to people talk and is calm. He rarely ever feels the need to repeat himself. His ever-developing and subconscious skills sharpen. He is respected, rather than just simply talked about and envied by his peers.

Donald's lunch-hour blaze is to help increase his self-consciousness and to relax his knowledge-driving brain. Donald does this with a high CBD and medium THC Indica. This specific dose slows the electrical activity surging in his body down by a fair degree which allows Donald to tune into others' electrical activity more clearly.

Less clutter. More like butter.

Donald begins to understand how, and why, to believe in people. He identifies what it means to be treated fairly by someone else. He appreciates how that feels, as he feels it every day from his reciprocating peers.

He does it. He gets it. He likes it. His people see it, feel it and back it without question.

A leader is born.

To lead people you need to feel people. To be loved teaches one how to love. Donald stretches out, like the branches of a tree, to care about everyone and everything he crosses paths with every day. Indica helps him define his own sensitivity towards people. With no compensating-ego, his peace is found.

Thankfully, this lunch-hour dose unknowingly helps Donald avoid heading down the fork in the road that is psychopathy.

Weed is saving the world, one Donald Trump at a time.

The trauma sustained from the psychological-abuse received from his father, had it gone untreated, coupled with Donald's lack of empathy towards people (developed from his lack of confidence), makes the perfect recipe for a Sociopath.

This vulnerably-sexual age. 12. Donald's sexuality is blossoming. Thankfully, he has been treating his symptoms-of-abuse from his father with Sativa plants. Furthermore, his empathy isn't being sacrificed because of the Indica plants' affect. Sounds like an unhealthy disaster has been avoided.

Twisting negative social-experiences with a sexually-developing person, who also has naturally occurring dispositions for psychopathy, can result in a self-righteous, bigoted-a*****e 'reptilian' with anger as their sole-emotion. That's a serial-killer sandwich.

Donald, with his consistently-freshly-medicated mind, learns ways to respect all things about women, the LGBTQ community and all cultures of all people.

After a long school-day of listening to and being there for his peers, while also being hyper-focused on all aspects of his growth; academically, spiritually and socially, Trump can lack motivation at times regarding maintaining good physical health.

Trump's third doobie of the day is administered to increase his physical motivation. He does this with a lower THC and medium CBD Hybrid. As he slams a glass of cranberry juice, instead of his usual bottle of Coke, he feels his energy rise as the tension in his shoulders relaxes.

Trump decides to head out for a jog around town before he eats dinner at 5pm with his family.

Feeling the endorphins rushing through his veins after his jog, Trump feels confident, smart, humbled and ready to start slowly chipping away at his dad's issues.

Slowly over the years, Trump helps turn his father into a better person through stimulating and personal conversation. Nothing like a good jog and some family heart-to-heart time at the dinner table.

Trump's family and friends begin to see how much potential he has. He transforms from 'impressive' to 'striking'.

"He is going to be president of the U.S.A. one day!" His proud parents began to say as Trump blossomed into a well-rounded and considerate young man.

The thing is though, Mr. Trump doesn't sleep well. It's a natural imbalance that frequently occurs in lots of people with intense minds. So, his fourth banger of the day is to ensure a deep sleep.

"Healthy sleep, healthy mind." Mr. Trump always says.

To ensure he is properly-relaxed and continuously-sleeping in deep-sleep for at least 8 hours per night, Mr. Trump smokes a hazy bong rip or 5 of dense Indica with very high CBD and lower THC. The bong gets the lovely Cannabinoids into Mr.Trump's brain quickly and he is out like a light. Sleeping and dreaming of saving the world.

Mr. Trump really does like the fast action punch of a chamber. His best friends Tyshawn and Miguel got the bong for him to congratulate him for getting a scholarship to the University of Pennsylvania. He loves his African-American and Latino-American friends so much!

Four doobies, curing him of all his problems. Pristine. Mr. Trump continues this Marijuana regiment day-in, day-out for years.

In university Mr. Trump excels. His open-minded medical-usage of Marijuana has Mr. Trump captivating peoples' minds, succeeding in his personal goals and dominating in his life professionally, socially and medically.

Marijuana is Legalized.

Jeans turn into suits. Micro-loans turn into macro-loans. Houses turn into high-rises. Cars turn into airplanes. Education turns into philosophy. Experience turns into fuel. Fields turn into hospitals. Countryside's turn into cities. The fat doobies still blazing.

CEO Trump has arrived, baked.

Sometimes as CEO Trump sits on his modest penthouse balcony, all he can do is let his mind fantastically-wonder amongst the weave that separates our reality from dreams.

CEO Trump delivers a new way to complement the open-spaces of a golf course with much-needed agriculture.

CEO Trump also realizes politics is the easiest way to help or hurt the world. He decides he wants to help.

"Wherever there is fescue-grass on all of my golf courses worldwide, I will be replacing that fescue-grass with hundreds of different strands of medical marijuana." CEO Trump loudly preaches to his adoring fans at his first presidential campaign speech.

"We will make America Great Again. We will make America Safe again. We will make America STONED AGAIN!!!"

Stay Clean, Stay Green

Conshinz

Author's Note

Bi-Partisan politics can still exist. Just, smoke some weed dude.