Where's my hero?--from Loved by a Wolf

Chapter 4

After our second block, we headed to the cafeteria. The cafeteria was as big as a gymnasium and had the mascot Rex the bulldog posted all over the place. Which made it look more like a pound than a cafeteria. Though really if felt like a pound when looking for a table. If you were sitting at the wrong table you better move because you were either humiliated or literally kicked off the table.
"Where do you want to sit," Shane asked after he paid for our lunch.
" Well first off, I could have paid for my own lunch," I replied.
He turned around and locked eyes with me and said, " Well, Sophie, you better get use to it."
He moved his eyes to my lips. I shivered. I see Shane's lips move into a pleasing smirk, but he stopped and lead me to a table.
"Oh, no," I said.
"What?" Shane looked around protectively.
"No, its just that we can't sit here." I started to back up, but Shane stopped me.
"Why not? Isn't America suppose to be a free country?"
"Ha, Ha very funny. Its just that we can't sit here. The jocks and cheerleaders sit here."
"Oh, well. I guess they will have to sit here with us then." he smiled and gestured me to sit down.

As we sat down, I saw all the cheerleaders giving me angry glares as they head to their "royal table". Before they sat down, I heard the captain of the cheer squad whisper,
"What the heck is she doing here? But that foreign exchange student is smoking hot!"
"Why hello, there." the captain of the cheer squad smiled showing us her fake, dyed white teeth." You must be the foreign exchange student. My name is Angelica." she tried to smile big, but she couldn't. Probably because she had too many Botox treatments.
"Hi. My name is Shane and this is my friend, Sophie." he smiled at me.
"Hi," I say shyly.
"So. Shane, were you ever thinking about joining the football team?" Angelica asked without even saying hi to me.
I await his answer but my attention was averted to a football player named Matt. Matt was tall and had messy brown hair with algae green eyes that look more like mud. He smelled of grass and sweat. I tried to ignore him, but he continually kept poking me.
"What!" I finally said annoyed.
" How are you making that piece of junk look at you like that? Huh?"
I huffed in annoyance and faced Shane. Shane was not a piece of junk. He is sweet and kind unlike you smelly and conceded jock I thought to myself.
"Hey, you should show me after school. If you know what I mean?" he winked and tried to touch my thigh.
"Leave me alone!" I yelled. I slapped his hand away and move away from him. One of the teachers on watch came over and asked,
"Is everything ok over here?"
"Yep. We were just playing around," Matt laughed playfully. The teacher looked at me for an answer.
"I'll be okay." I tried to smile. I didn't want to get in trouble on the first day of school. I'm not weak! I never show my weakness especially in front of an adult.
I'm surprised that Shane wasn't doing anything to protect me from this creep. I looked across to see Shane who was to occupied with Angelica petting his biceps. Matt was so close that I could feel is nasty breath on my neck.
" You know if you let him follow you around everywhere like a puppy. He might turn you into his b***h." I saw Shane getting angry and frustrated at Angelica. He tries to get away from her, but Angelica grabbed his arm and started to comment on his muscles.
"Hey, I am talking to you," Matt says as he grabbed my chin to look at him. I pushed him away from me and felt tears in my eyes. I rubbed the away as quick as I could.

I can't handle this anymore. Shane is ignoring the fact that I'm was being manipulate by this creep! I'm so stupid to think that Shane was a gentleman. Shane was probably playing me and then thought he could try to humiliate me in front of the school body. Well, he can't now if I leave and never talk to him again. I got up and decided to finish my lunch in the bathroom. But before I could leave, Matt grabbed me and pressed his slimy lips to mine. I quickly pull away.
"You like?" Matt asked. To answer his question I slapped him across the face. If that didn't get the whole cafeteria's attention then it had to be when Shane jumped out of his seat and punched Matt in the face.

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© 2013 The Invisible Girl

Author's Note

How is it? Is it good or just stupid? I was going to lead this up to a bigger fight in the next chapter between Shane and Matt, but I don't know if this is too much or too little. Please comments!!!!

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AlwaysCasey

This is way better than the rough draft I read! One thing that caught my eye was the detail you put into Matt's apperance especially with his eyes. Another thing in the second to last paragraph the sentence you start off with "Well," there should be a "he" in between the "well," and the "can't" just thought I'd point that out :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Skye

That seemed to escalate quickly. I feel Sophie put too much faith into Shane too quickly. Same as before, sentence and vocab variation. More specific verbs and descriptions would definitely enhance your writing. :) I don't know about anyone else, but I would definitely feel freaked out if the new kid suddenly started paying that much attention to me. I'd suspect he had a less than pleasant motive. But maybe that's just me. :P The chapter is longer, which I like! But I want more detail, so I can have the full picture! Like, what are the other people at the table doing? What about the students in the cafeteria? Do they notice? Is it loud in the cafeteria? Try to incorporate the senses, like hearing, sight, smell, touch, and taste. :) On to read!