In 20 seconds..

In 20 seconds..

A Poem by The Invisible Girl

I can feel the cold steel knife

against my skin

Within it's blade it holds my life.

 

In twenty seconds, I will die

 

I hear water dripping in a bucket

as it counts the last seconds of my life.

while the knife gently touches my chest by my silver locket.

 

20, 19, 18, 17...

 

The locket was given to me by my love.

A tear falls in remembrance of my old life.

Soon it was shattered from the rustling of feathers from a dove.

 

16, 15, 14, 13...

 

The cold knife sends chills down my spine.

the knife taunts me that I'm a coward.

Then, he calmly starts to cut me like I'm a swine.

12, 11, 10, 9, 8.....

 

All I see is red

7, 6, 5...

The tears start to fall

4...

My breathing starts to slow down

Soon...3, 2, 1....

I'm dead.

© 2013 The Invisible Girl


Author's Note

The Invisible Girl
What do you think??

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Featured Review

I found it very uncanny if you ask me in a good way. It was a little well demontic in a way and pretty Scream 4ish(take out the suicide I think in the movie). I wonder what you were thinking when u wrote the story(seriously thats a good question not a hurtful one). Good Job but you sort of scared me there on the first line a weebit

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Angelic_Dreamer

10 Years Ago

I'm glad u are religious. God is amazing isn't he?What a wonderful world he created for us...full of.. read more
The Invisible Girl

10 Years Ago

Yes, God is marvelous! :D And don't forget you are one of those awesome writers too! :)
Angelic_Dreamer

10 Years Ago

thanks whatever u say I guess I'll try to agree



Reviews

This poem encourages me but makes emotional too. The tittle's not good, the tittle should be this "I'M DEAD IN 20 SECONDS" because this' write's well penned and i don't want any criticism here except your tittle. If you think your tittle is right for you then i don't have any query with that.
I realized some pain and sentiments in 20 SECONDS..lol, this write could be convert into a book with the tittle "DEATH IN 2O SEC.", if you write books too then you can write one book on this tittle but if you write, you had to do hard and hard work to make some characters here to make your book interesting, thrilling to read. And, you can write this book on this genre "Thrill". you can put some adventure as well if you want.
The piece really encourages me too to write one book on this, but if you write then to me you can make some good characters than me. In 2O SEC. what we want from our life and how we can live our live or die in 20 sec. you visualized me to see this pic. without my "Projector"..lol If i had 20 sec. to live or to doe, i'd like to remember my god only, (not because i worry from die but i want to go in heaven after death..lol)

nicely penned, enjoyed this writing and i wish you'll soon try to make one book on it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


The Invisible Girl

9 Years Ago

Thanks for the review! :) I'm not sure if I could write a mystery/thriller book, but I can try somed.. read more
Rahul

9 Years Ago

Foresure, you can.
but i'd wish you will until the earth got die or some kinda disaster from s.. read more
The Invisible Girl

9 Years Ago

Will do! Again thank you so much! :)
well that was depressing. but it was well written and quite captivating.

Posted 10 Years Ago


The Invisible Girl

10 Years Ago

Thanks! I wanted to try something new. :)
I gotta tell you...this kinda threw me off! I'm not really used to this when it comes to your poems but nevertheless it was a very good read.
Keep it up!
-Penelope H.

Posted 10 Years Ago


The Invisible Girl

10 Years Ago

Thanks! I wanted to try something different. :)
Euro

10 Years Ago

You're welcome, you did a good job with this :)
The Invisible Girl

10 Years Ago

Thanks! ^-^
I could feel the coldness in your words! I have never read anything like this coming from you! This is a whole new thing to me and it kinda surprises me as to why your wrote this. I mean, I'm not saying it's bad or anything but it's out of the ordinary from what I used to reading coming from you. The one thing that is constant in this poem and in your other poems is that the emotions stay strong and equal from beginning to end.
Keep it up,
KS

Posted 10 Years Ago


The Invisible Girl

10 Years Ago

Thanks! That means a lot! :)
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
This is a "fresh" new approach of a dark poem, interesting how you created this poem, how you counted and detailed while every time after counting...great poem, well done

Posted 10 Years Ago


The Invisible Girl

10 Years Ago

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! :)
Chilling! I loved the way you made it like a countdown as it made it more fear inducing. Great job with this!

Posted 10 Years Ago


The Invisible Girl

10 Years Ago

Thanks! :D
woww!
movie-material!
really
im floored

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The Invisible Girl

10 Years Ago

Thanks! Glad you liked it! :D
poetry-kiddo alienbaba

10 Years Ago

honest
it's diiffferent............such a deep feeling's r here.....
i wanna give u 97./100.............
really this is a nice work..........
hey....one more thing....ur's new wll. pic. is too nice.....
have a nice-day.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The Invisible Girl

10 Years Ago

Sure. I will tried to read some of your poems, soon!! :)
krish

10 Years Ago

wow.great.....thanks' ...to give me ur's time to read my poem's.....i hope u'd like + love = enjoy.... read more
krish

10 Years Ago

I hope u'd like cozzzzzzz.....in my new poem's i've written reality.......
now let's see..can .. read more
I would very much like to know what inspired you to write this piece. Its amazing not to mention the choice of fonts heh nice one.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The Invisible Girl

10 Years Ago

Truthfully I'm not sure. I just started writing. Please don't think I was writing this a a demonic s.. read more
jemaral

10 Years Ago

of course not.... but that also make this an even more amazing you were able to make this so grippin.. read more

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491 Views
17 Reviews
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Added on January 16, 2013
Last Updated on January 16, 2013
Tags: death, the end, twenty seconds

Author

The Invisible Girl
The Invisible Girl

Gumdrop Forest, Candy Land :P



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I always had a passion for writing. Though I'm not the best writer, I always put my readers first. I hope whenever you read my work that you will enjoy it. So share, rate and review my stuff and i.. more..

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