It�s Slipping Away From Me

ITS VERY CRAPPY! I�m talking about myself. And it gets personal. I get real emotional and cry as I write this on the spot.

Im sitting here and I just don´t understand...

Im in this beautiful country, far away from home.

Im in this interesting environment, very different.

And still my eyes are full of sorrow.

Still total happiness does not come my way.

Sadness...depression, it has fallen in love with me...it doesnt seem to want to go.

My smiles are only concealing the cries of agony my soul is crying out.

I dont have you, and im afraid of losing you.

Im afraid I will never see you again.

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me,

If you leave, I know I will die inside.

I dont want to die inside, I want to be happy.

Oh, to be happy again, that is a wish that will never come true.

I am surrounded by people, by family...that I dont even remember.

All are happy, joyful. Except me.

Happiness doesnt even come to me when Im thousands of miles away.

I was foolish, stupid, to think that I could escape my nightmare.

Im loosing my reason, my motivation to keep going.

Im losing every drop of happiness bit by bit. BLOW BY BLOW.

I wonder what exactly I did to deserve it all.

What did I do to make God feel this punishment fit the crime?

I have returned to that feeling of being underwater. Not feeling alive.

Because I need you.

Because I miss you.

Because Im losing you,

In every sense of that phrase.

I need you to live.

I should be happy. I´m still crying.

I can´t lose you.

My life has become dependant on your very existance.

Letting you go is too much to ask of me.

I can´t. I won´t. No.

Inside im writhing in pain.

My inner self is...crying out.

On the floor, grasping her chest...

In hopeless efforts of saving her heart

From the pain. It hurts. It´s dying. It wishes she could help it.

Her Heart is pleading, begging.

And it´s all in vein.

There´s no hope for her heart.

It´s losing it´s other half it has learned not to live without.

Oh, how it hurts.

The poor thing is losing the fight.

The poor thing wants to be put out of it´s misery.

That poor thing.

Poor Heart.

It misses happiness. She misses happiness.

Evey part of her being wishes to be alive again.

Dont you see?

Your love is what I live for.

And it´s slipping away from me.

Author's Note

I wrote this on the spot and very emotionally, so there might be errors. I have edited this like 5 times already and yeah. Suggestions appreciated greatly. But no changes in what it says, because its my true feelings and straight from my life.

Reviews

[gomjordan23]

This is pretty powerful and I don't envy you being in this position. How did things turn out, are you over it? I just had a few questions/corrections that i think might help make it even better. I think the blow by blow would be seem more emphatic if you left it lower case, just a thoughtthough. Is the slipping from "I" to "her" intentional or just how it came out as you were putting pen to paper? Also, it should be its all in "vain" not vein and "losing" my reason. Again, great work and I hope things are better for you now.

[Ernie Roman]

wow...i feel your emotion in this piece.it is very well written. suggestions? well i say break up the last part of the poem to sort of drag it out a little...dont change the words, just shorter lines... but yea love the message and the mood...

[Jean]

This is good. :) I love how you always write about what you're really feeling. ^^ It makes your poetry so much better. :3