Your Smile

Your Smile

A Poem by :)Hannah~!

                         Your Smile

 

              Your smile is like the sun when it shines

              Your smile makes me never want to say goodbye

              Your smile is like the wind when it gently blows

              Your smile is like the moon when it glows

              Your smile reminds me of how much I love you

              Your smile reminds me how I never want to be without you

© 2009 :)Hannah~!


Author's Note

:)Hannah~!
Please review!!! =)

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Reviews

This has some pretty good thought behind it and definately expresses what you are trying to express. The only thing is that it's so simple that it's kind of too simple, if you can understand what I am trying to say here. At the expense of sounding rude, anyone could write this. I don't think that there is quite enough feeling behind this. It's just too short and simple. The diction you use is simple also. I think by making it slightly longer, using more sophisticated diction, and adding more metaphors, similies, etc. to it, it would make this piece overall better.

Never stop writing.
-Ally Baker

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on June 19, 2009
Last Updated on June 19, 2009

Author

:)Hannah~!
:)Hannah~!

?!?!?!?!, KY



About
Heyyyy!!! My name is Hannah. Im 12 years old, and I absolutely love to write(Thats why I'm here of course!) I also like to sing, dance, draw, and hang out with all my friends!!!!! I have 2 sisters tha.. more..

Writing
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A Poem by :)Hannah~!