Down Below

 

The darkest suburbs of my utopia can hardly fill
with the warm breeze of remnant days that flickers
the candle-lit sidewalks laid in vigil to the dead.

I do not walk in the alley of death but on
the street with the blackest asphalt
with glooming eyes rising from its depths.

Wind is the last thing I feel before the impact,
the space where the air tries to push me back
and prevent what has always been coming.

A small mercy by nature, sad to see me go,
yet the wind sometimes blows as a warning,
to let me know where all things eventually go,

down below.

Reviews

[tootles]

Been reading your poems all morning, they are all great, but this one... This one has a soul. True art, I love it. And I love the little visual play you made in the last verse.

[CosminDZS]

Merci, for the reads and the comment. Some things I write turn out to be truer than others. I think this piece rings true to who I am right now, if only a bit. I appreciate the insight.

[Alicia Huntley]

Wow! This is such a chilling poem, but I love it! There is some seriously fantastic lines in this. The last verse is my favourite.

[CosminDZS]

Thank you, you are too kind Alicia

[Hunter Rose]

I absolutely loved it! It reminders me of something Poe himself would write! Listening to some of Tim Burtons music while reading it could probably helped hahaha ;-) But your a really good poet! Keep it up!

[CosminDZS]

Heh, I don't know if it quite has the Poe vibe but I'm humbled by the comparison. Tank you for the kind words.

[Coyote Poetry]

"A small mercy by nature, sad to see me go,
yet the wind sometimes blows as a warning,
to let me know where all things eventually go,"
I like the poem. True logic is scary. A lot of people think we control all things. The truth is. We are at the mercy of many things. No weakness in the interesting poem. I like poems like this one. They open the door to question and possibilities.
Coyote

[CosminDZS]

Tank you for the wisdom Coyote, I think all things should be open to questions and possibilities.

[Madalyn Beck]

This paints such a vivid picture and it leaves a dark and cold feeling (personally). It's very well done.

[CosminDZS]

Well I ope you find something to warm you up then, much thanks for the comment

[Sami Khalil]

All things will eventually go to its maker. The Creator and Owner of all will require His back to him. You have the will power to reclaim your identity and set your path on right or wrong choices. Death is the greatest equalizer...A powerful poem...:)..................

[CosminDZS]

A powerful comment, thank you

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. You are welcome...:).................................

[Scott Metro]

Are you contemplating the demise of your self identity here..?
A bit cryptic...

Scott

[CosminDZS]

It's all I got man, this is how it comes out of me

[Scott Metro]

:)
Scott.......