Afraid to Fall

I am afraid…afraid to fall in love, afraid to get too close. Because all around me, I only see things fall apart. I see unbreakable bonds shatter, I see true loves walk away from each other without a second thought. And I still see that night, play in my head, over and over again, the night we stayed in that same bed. You promised me you’d never use me, you’d always care, and no matter what, you would always be there. So how come I hear, see, feel nothing. I hear your voice or your ring tone on my phone, no more. I see your smile and open arms directed at me, no more. I feel your reassuring touch and warmth, no more. I know love as pain, not happiness, because that’s how I've seen it my whole life. So when I say I am afraid to fall in love, afraid to get too close, its because, when I get too close, I become attached, I fall in love, and them I am stripped of all of the above.