Hallucinated Memory

The story is about a girl who fnds herself crawling away from her death but doesnt know it till a detective she has met six times in a asylum for the crimanally insane.

As I sat on the antibacterial cover I couldn't help to think of how many people swarm into this same cubicle everyday. Before I started thinking of any other thoughts , a slender woman with fiery red hair tore into my cubicle, shes new. Her name tag read "Dr. Jayne." She had this warm feeling to her, and she seemed to have a glowing complextion. As she went through the exam, I could tell something was very wrong. Although I knew something was horribly wrong I could not bring myself to tell her that . She would just think that I am crazier than what people make me out to be. My name is Annabella Woodsparks. I am twenty years old. Today is my Ninth year here. Where is here you ask, here is nowhere. If you want the truth, I don't know where I am. All I know, all I remember is waking up at the edge of a shallow river with blood all over the bank and myself. As I washed myself with the water I began hearing men shouting and a wave of total terror washed over me. I didn't know why I was running I just trusted my natural instinct and kept going,I didnt look back. Not even once. Then all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my right side, I realized I had started to slow down. The faster I tried to go the slower i got. It seemed that not only me but the whole world was slowing down as well. Some unknown force must have pulled the ground right from under, for the next step I took ended up having me face down on the ground. As I rolled overonto my back, I heard aproaching footsteps and then i heard nothing. I looked up and saw a beautiful canvas full of shimmering stars. as i watched the stars fade away, I realized a strange sensation under my skin. I smelled the awful odor of burning skin, then i thought to myself. I have smelled this horrible odor before, I recognize this odor. Forgetting about the odor I tried to find the source of it. I must have crawled around on my stomach for hours until I finally gave up. But as I propped myself against the roots of a tree I saw a trail of fire in the same direction I had came from. I had found the source... It was me. The beautiful colors of nature faded and my eyelids fell over my emerald green eyes. When I awoke the nurse that had been assigned to me said I was in an asylum for the crimimaly insane. Then she left the room. In a matter of moments after the nurse left a detective was sent in to speak with me. He told me this was our sixth time meeting, but it was alright because I probably didn't remember. He said I caught my house on fire every died but me.

Reviews

[Bette]

i love the tone of this story, and your voice is great. there are a few typos i am sure you will catch if you decide to make this longer. well done

[Mercy]

I agree that you should make it longer. It is a fabulous beginning for a really good story.

[creativekat]

This was a story for the group 500 words the point is to keep it at 500 words hence the title 500 words : )

[yoyob]

i like it u should make it longer.....