Intoxicated Hero

Intoxicated Hero

A Poem by Jenny-Jen-Jen
"

When your hero changes their mind...

"

Intoxicated Hero

 

 

You used to be my knight;

All dressed up in armor shinning so bright �" so strong.

You were there to protect me.

Always by my side, even through the darkness.

Even through the haze!

The moments of weakness…

And when I’d lose myself completely.

You’d fend off any demons; scare away the beasts…

And I wasn’t even thankful �" not in the least.

You’d take the beatings.

You’d take the blows.

And now it seems you’ve gone away.

For my own good, or so you say.

Intoxication leads the heart to the truth,

Or so I’ve heard…

So tell me, where did my hero go?

And why have things become so blurred?

Haven’t I always been your little sister, in mind?

A friend…

A buddy…

The best of their kind.

Why now?

Why the sudden change, when I need my hero so?

You see, you’ve always held me up �"

And without you I will fall.

© 2012 Jenny-Jen-Jen


Author's Note

Jenny-Jen-Jen
Had random inspiration. Needed to get it out of my head... little rough around the edges. Critique and Review welcomed as always. Thanks guys.

My Review

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I feel like there's the germ here of a good poem because the subject of a person in life who was your main support or 'knight' no longer being there is something that could be really moving. Unfortunately, it's also been done to death in the history of poetry it can be extra challenging to make it original. I agree with you that this is a little rough around the edges, because here are a lot of cliches and it feels like you were working to just get your raw feelings onto paper. At the same time, it's clearly something you're passionate about so if you touch it up a little later on, you can make it into something great.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I feel like there's the germ here of a good poem because the subject of a person in life who was your main support or 'knight' no longer being there is something that could be really moving. Unfortunately, it's also been done to death in the history of poetry it can be extra challenging to make it original. I agree with you that this is a little rough around the edges, because here are a lot of cliches and it feels like you were working to just get your raw feelings onto paper. At the same time, it's clearly something you're passionate about so if you touch it up a little later on, you can make it into something great.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

so much emotion expressed. you are very talented

Posted 10 Years Ago


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Ray
It's incredible how you capture so much feeling in so short a poem ! Absolutely extraordinary ! I have to say I loved it. I feel it somehow would have been better if you could have kept the rhyme going, but even so it feels perfect the way you did it !!

Posted 10 Years Ago


"For my own good, or so you say.
Intoxication leads the heart to the truth,
Or so I’ve heard…"
I like the description in this poem. Most of us abuse the people who treat us with love and kindness. I like the ending. We miss what we lose. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


Maybe you were ready to stand on your own ..We all need our hero's sometimes , If only to guide us to our own strength

Posted 10 Years Ago



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435 Views
6 Reviews
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Added on May 19, 2012
Last Updated on May 19, 2012
Tags: Hero, Love, Best Friends, Confusion, Romance, Sadness, Loss of Friend

Author

Jenny-Jen-Jen
Jenny-Jen-Jen

Mo-Town, NC



About
Death is Peaceful. Life is Harder. I base my writing upon what comes to mind, what I'm going through, and true feelings. I'm opinionated, and sometimes you'll see that shine through the cracks of m.. more..

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A Poem by Jenny-Jen-Jen



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