hollow just as the pain we share

hollow just as the pain we share

A Poem by TheAimlessWanderer
"

Alternate title a rampage of kin my ego

"
ravenous like a wolf devouring the pain we share
hunger far reaching 
a cold blooded stare
reaching deep inside
far beyond the mind
past where my soul lies
and my fading distant cries
wretched open deep within
i shudder for i am its kin
waves of thought are forming
waves of thought are fading away
left dying 
dying 
dying in anguish for this day he shall feed
my unending greed
my undying need
bleeding the source dry
unending 
trickling from remnants
trickling
bleeding
bleeding in sorrow for all is lost but tomorrow
bleeding the source unending
a wave of thought has formed but it is all but gone
gone
drowning in the blood of our guilt unending
drowning  
drowning deep within we are
indulging 
indulging
on the aberration lay bare
imbibing the flesh we share
growl 
growl
heard deep within
we are coming
rending the flesh from reason
drinking deep  deep 
hollowing
hallowing 
the memories
the memories that we share
emptiness unending
ascending
ascending
so that we may rampage
leaving the world bare
hollow hollow
just as the pain we share...

© 2016 TheAimlessWanderer


Author's Note

TheAimlessWanderer
first time i ever wrote any of the songs i come up with in my head just thought this one sounded fitting and at the time i was at the computer usually when i try to write them down i forget right away lucky me !!

My Review

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Featured Review

That was rather haunting. I very much enjoyed the poem/song. Reading it, I feel like it has so many meanings written into it. What was the meaning you were intending, out of curiosity?

Also, I am enamored by the structure you used. It varies through the whole song, and it makes the whole "story", if you will, that much more fascinating. Some words closer together, or others far apart. I especially liked it where you used just one word each line as if the words themselves were dripping into each other.

Exquisite work and talent.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Very good, Chris. Looking beyond the writing, which is very good, I can pick up the musicality of this piece. Not so much a rap, but a dirge, a lament for the death of the wolf. Good write.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That was rather haunting. I very much enjoyed the poem/song. Reading it, I feel like it has so many meanings written into it. What was the meaning you were intending, out of curiosity?

Also, I am enamored by the structure you used. It varies through the whole song, and it makes the whole "story", if you will, that much more fascinating. Some words closer together, or others far apart. I especially liked it where you used just one word each line as if the words themselves were dripping into each other.

Exquisite work and talent.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Not bad. I see you got the whole A-B-A-C kind of rhyming thing going on in some of it.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wølfy

5 Years Ago

(A) ravenous like a wolf devouring the pain we [share]

(B) hunger far [reaching]
read more
Wølfy

5 Years Ago

(A) ravenous like a wolf devouring the pain we [share]
(B) hunger far [reaching]
(A) a.. read more
Wølfy

5 Years Ago

There we go. Not sure why it cut my comment off...
I can see what you are writing in my head wow soo dark and intriguing

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

5 Years Ago

thank you i am glad that you can appreciate it my rampaging ego.
I totally enjoy reading your poems! It was brilliant!
keep writing :D

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

5 Years Ago

Thank you so much Shadowine i will be sure to keep writing so excited !!
glad you enjoyed it .. read more
Greed is a sin for a reason
It doesnt harm anyone but the human fragile soul
making it ache in needs and wants it no longer is in any form of necessity

it teaches the soul
lack of faith and this is well written

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

5 Years Ago

wow thank you for such a deeply insightful and gripping comment i am glad that these feelings moved .. read more
Beautiful as always, Chris! (I hope you don't mind me calling you by name) It's a wonderful mixture of dark and melancholy, and the imagery is fantastic. Honestly, you really have a way with words and I think that if you keep writing, one day you're going to be recognised for it! You're definitely one of my favourite poets here on WritersCafe.org, keep up the great work!

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

5 Years Ago

Oh yes no problem at all it is my name after all lol i am not the best at taking compliments unless .. read more
Nice poem. . I love the dark aura it portrays, and the repeating words that add stress to the meanings emphasized. Good job! :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

thaleeyaLuna

5 Years Ago

hmm, I see. Or you could add on it a WAY to be able to resist and not be consumed by the negativity... read more
TheAimlessWanderer

5 Years Ago

hmm thank you for your feedback i will really need to ponder this one oh and in case i forgot thank .. read more
thaleeyaLuna

5 Years Ago

You're always welcome. :)
This is really incredible, It captures the darkness of people really well - that's how I read it at least. And well done remember the lyrics this time round :D

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

5 Years Ago

glad you enjoyed it !
PenguinEmpiress

5 Years Ago

So typical of lyrics! XD
TheAimlessWanderer

5 Years Ago

yeah so true XD

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424 Views
9 Reviews
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Added on August 5, 2016
Last Updated on August 6, 2016
Tags: Lyrical, pain, guilt, ego, symbolic

Author

TheAimlessWanderer
TheAimlessWanderer

British Columbia, Canada



About
i wish it was more clear who i am even to me it seems dim and held together by words that struggle from within the line is much to thin it is crossing over it is crossing over there no space between m.. more..

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