Mon Amour

Flirting.... a lost art, we have become a society that is afraid to flirt!

  Mon amour

you smile at me across the room

  wisps of smoke from your cigarette remind me of old movies

  you run your hand through your hair

  slowly , deliberately

  I feel your caress, from across the way

  my heart flutters

Your lips savor your steamy cappuccino

  the cup seems to melt in your powerful hands

  my senses respond without permission

  your dark dreamy eyes look directly into my imagination

  you have captivated my spirit

gave me a breath of life

 mon amour!

Reviews

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Great job! You conveyed strong natural feelings with your limned imagery, that I enjoyed.

"you run your hand through your hair
slowly , deliberately"

"your dark dreamy eyes look directly into my imagination
you have captivated my spirit" Loved these lines! :)

[Hebe]

Thank you Cyprian :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're welcome Hebe

[Willard Wells]

Love in a coffee shop. Nice flow with great content. Well done.

[Hebe]

Thank you Willard...Happy Holidays

[Neal S]

Lovely personal moment between two strangers. Sexy and dramatic. Nice writing.

[Hebe]

Hi Neal.... thank you, whats life without a little romance:)

[Neal S]

Most definitely! :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

Indeed, it has become a lost art. But you write of it with such finesse...that my heart feels all a flutter!

[Hebe]

Thank you Kelly appreciate your words:) love your pic!

[Tashida]

Talk about a steamy encounter! Your word choice was very vivid and very descriptive. I especially loved the part about the "wisps of smoke from you cigarette" Absolutely brilliant. I loved it! :) Two thumbs up! :) :)

[Hebe]

Hi Tashida glad you enjoyed it :) hows the holiday season going.... so little time to squeeze everything in !

[Tashida]

Ikr! I'm extremely busy preparing for the holidays but it's going great. How is everything going for you?

[D Connolly]

This is super sexy! "My senses respond without permission" very nice. ;) Makes me smile to think of the unspoken words passing between two strangers (or lovers with a secret) from across a room

[Hebe]

Thanks D. I' m dreaming :)

[mattavelli]

Hello, Hebe! :)
Would your heart flutter if he ran his hand across his bald head, or, instead of coffee and cigarets, he was enjoying waffle fries with mayonnaise?
My critique:
"my heart flutters" - boo! Unoriginal... Same for "dreamy eyes" it's cheating. We want fresh phrasing!
"my senses respond without permission"- the wording here confuses the obvious message of the line. 
Line 2 is my favorite. It adds a lot to the scene and characters.
Overall, I enjoyed it, though I think you put more effort into describing him than you did for yourself.

Here is the handsome man's point of view:

  More Mon amour
I smile at you across the room,
the  mayonnaise on my lip, a promise. I lick it off.
I run my hand across my shiny scalp,
slowly , deliberately,
like a bowler; pins anticipating.
You feel the echo in your heart, Steee-rike!
Your lips savor my steamy fries,
the waffle cut, so rigid, bending in my powerful hands.
You ache for them to bend you.
 My dark eyes look directly into your imagination.
 I  have captivated your spirit
given you a breath of life,
 mon amour!

[Hebe]

Lol .... thats great! You definately took it down a completely different path ....not quite what i was thinking....but thats the amazing thing about poetry, you can take an idea and give it a whole new life! ...

[mattavelli]

Hi, Hebe! :)
I enjoyed it. I have nothing to write about right now, so I figured I'd harass you. Enjoy the holidays!
It was cold today, first day of winter, 80 degrees...

[Hebe]

Happy Holidays to you too!
80..... you need to put your woolly socks on, you might catch a chill ! Im chillin over here....literally, ;)

[Cody Mitchell]

Delicious. I enjoy an excellent piece of poetry like this. The descriptions make me think of a desperado for some reason but that's just me.

[Hebe]

I can see Desperado :) thank you for your review, so glad you enjoyed it

[Lydia Shutter]

The fantasy of this one is strong. You paint the scene perfectly and bring us to it. Romantic, sensual, seductive. I liked it. Lydi**

[Hebe]

Thank you Lydi appreciate it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A nice romantic journey in your words my friend. Sweet words to willing ears. Open the door to wonderful places. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Hebe]

Thank you :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. I like the poetry with some French words.

[Hebe]

Always makes it more seductive :)