Chapter 3:Z

Chapter 3

    "There Zerk  is!" Growled general Nyx. "Lets go get em guys. Be aware the bloodbots are probably ready for a battle."
    "Yes Sir" Responded all of the soldiers. The army was ready for the biggest battle of there lives.
    When the spaceship got in sight of bloodbots on Zerk, the blood bots began shooting R65L's at it. A R65L is a rocket launcher that shoots 10 homing rockets at a time. The bloodbots were shooting at the spaceship but were not dealing any damage because the spaceship had a rocket-resistant force field that could be deployed at any point in time. The force field allowed the soldiers to land safely.
    While still safe inside of the space ship, All of the soldiers began putting on a suit of heavy armor. Each suit of armor consisted of a steel plated helmet, a full suit of bronze plated armor ,and a thin layer of gutrine. Gutrine is a material that can withstand 500 volts  of electricity. The  purpose of gutrine was to protect the soldiers from getting hurt by the plasma bolts.
    As the soldiers walked out of the ship,    the bloodbots began to attack. they were shooting crossbows loaded with plasma bolts. These however were dealing no damage. The soldiers began running up to blood bots and hitting them with their power swords. It took 5 hits to kill each bloodbot. The blood bots began getting into their heavily armored cars and drove away. They were so confused why the plasma bolts had not killed each of the soldiers in one hit. They decided they would go back to HQ to discuss a new battle plan.
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Back at HQ
    “what the hell were you guys doing out there?” screamed Deglian  “you guys were supposed to be ending the humans once and for all!”
    “We could not inflict any damage upon them. Sorry that we have failed you master.” replied one bloodbot speaking for all of the bloodbots
    “Don’t let it happen again!!” commanded Deglian
    “W....W....We.. we won’t sir” stuttered the bloodbot who was getting screamed at
    “now get back to practice so that we can actually win the battle next time and not have to retreat!” screamed Deglian
    Each of the bloodbots went back to training hard . most of them were running the obstacle course. The obstacle course consisted of jumping 3 barriers, running to a ladder, climbing it , swinging from a rope to a tree branch, jumping off it softly, running sprints up a steep hill then sprinting a mile to the finish line. And it all had to be completed in less than 5 minutes 10 seconds.

Author's Note

Please rate.I am looking for things to do better

Reviews

[Wendy Seames Garner]

Hi, Inferno, I'm back! Here are a few more points you might want to change:

1. "Growled general Nyx." (growled General Nyx.)
2. "Yes Sir" Responded all of the soldiers." (Yes Sir," all the soldiers responded.)The 3. "The army was ready for the biggest battle of there lives. " (The army troops were ready for the biggest battle of their lives.)
4. " When the spaceship got in sight of bloodbots on Zerk, the blood bots began shooting R65L's at it." (The bloodbots began shooting R65L's at the spaceship when it got within range. )These however were dealing no damage.
5. "A R65L is a rocket launcher that shoots" (An R65L is)
6. "The bloodbots were shooting at the spaceship but were not dealing any damage because the spaceship had a rocket-resistant force field that could be deployed at any point in time." (The spaceship was not taking any damage because it had a rocket-resistant force field.)
7. " The force field allowed the soldiers to land safely." ( The force field also allowed)
8. "While still safe inside of the space ship, All of the soldiers began putting on a suit of heavy armor." (The soldiers put on heavy suits of armor while still safely aboard the space ship.)
9. "armor ,and a" (armor, and)
10. "The purpose of gutrine was to protect the soldiers from getting hurt by the plasma bolts." (Gutrine protected the soldiers for getting hurt by plasma bolts.)
11. " As the soldiers walked out of the ship, the bloodbots began to attack they were shooting crossbows loaded with plasma bolts." (Using crossbows loaded with plasma bolts, the bloodbots began to attack as the soldiers walked out of the ship.)
12. "These however were dealing no damage." (The plasma bolts weren't causing any damage.)
13. "The blood bots began getting into their heavily armored cars and drove away. They were so confused why the plasma bolts had not killed each of the soldiers in one hit." (The bloodbots were confused when the plasma bolts didn't kill the soldiers in one hit. They escaped to their heavily armored cars and drove away.
14. "They decided they would go back to HQ to discuss a new battle plan." (They retreated to HQ to discuss a new battle plan.)
15. "Back at HQ" (Back at HQ:)
16. "“what the hell were you guys doing out there?” screamed Deglian “you guys were supposed to be ending the humans once and for all!” ("What the hell are you guys doing out there?" screamed Deglian, "You were suppose to put an end to the humans once and for all!")
17. “We could not inflict any damage upon them. Sorry that we have failed you master.” replied one bloodbot speaking for all of the bloodbots " ("Sorry we have failed you master," replied one of the bloodbods, speaking for all, "We just couldn't inflict any damage on them!")
18. "commanded Deglian" (Deglian.)
19.“W....W....We.. we won’t sir” stuttered the bloodbot who was getting screamed at" (W...w...we won't sir," stuttered the bloodbot.)
20. "“now get back to practice so that we can actually win the battle next time and not have to retreat!” screamed Deglian ("Now get back to practice, so next time we can win the battle instead of having to retreat!" screamed Deglian.)
21. " Each of the bloodbots went back to training hard . most of them were running the obstacle course." (The bloodbots went back to hard training - most of them running the obstacle course.)
22. "The obstacle course consisted of jumping 3 barriers, running to a ladder, climbing it , swinging from a rope to a tree branch, jumping off it softly, running sprints up a steep hill then sprinting a mile to the finish line." (The obstacle course consisted of: Jumping 3 barriers, running to a ladder, climbing it, swinging from a rope to a tree branch, jumping off it, sprinting up a steep hill and then the mile to the finish line.)
23. "And it all had to be completed in less than 5 minutes 10 seconds." (This all had to be completed in less than 5 minutes, 10 seconds.)

[inferno78]

thanks hannah

[hannah]

Three words
THIS. IS . AMAZING!!!
That will be all:)