I’m not here -Viktoria

I am presenting this piece as me but with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have a complicated connection to this mental disorder. Each personality represents me and a specific event/part of my life.

I never think because my head is a canyon

It is hollow, it is vast, it is dark

I am lost wandering this canyon

Searching for these voices I hear but can’t see

They tell me they are here but how can they be here when I am not

Why does he ask me for someone I do not know

He calls for someone who will never answer

I sit in a room and stare

I do not know where I am

And I ignore all the signs

If absent-mindedness is a curse then I am going to burn

Do I repent or do I wait?

I am sorry for not being present

Please do not mark me absent

I just want to float down the river of Consciousness and drown in its current

Or maybe ride the wave over its waterfalls

These voices

So many voices

Echoing in the caves of my mind