Shower

I think a lot in the shower, and this is what it feels like.

Wet hair pulls the secrets

Translucent, silver spider strings, 

Away from the nape of my neck

Leaving the ideas nuzzled

In the indents between

The disks in my pale back

Like the crevice of a peach, 

Spring blushing and bruised

Just like me: pink cheeks. 

Purple, blue, yellow, brown marks

Leaking poached ideas

Into the recesses of my body

Between my collarbone and neck, 

Hip bone and stomach. 

Scrubbed pink and exposed

Like the tender skin of a scar

Akin to the taste of your tongue, waiting

To feel clean. Water droplets

Wick away from my body

Like a waxy candle, sticking, 

Burning and repelling. Naked

Knees pull into my chest

As my hair dries over the nape

Of my neck. Secrets exit here,

A flood away from my hair, 

But now they're just a trickle. 

Trickle. 

Trickle. 

Trickle. 

Reviews

[Breathetheair]

Imagery ...that's the word dear lady for you! Love it.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much!

[Rahul]

once again a great write...middle portion is great to read i think..isn't it..?
nice flow of ink as usual "Dana" ! :)

[Astro]

Delicate and sensual imagery with just a touch of pain to make the scene more tactile and palatable. Well done, I like the idea of clarity coming to you in the shower but perhaps falling away like droplets soon after.

[Dana Alsamsam]

i'm happy you understood the concept of ideas in the shower! it's almost like i have to write down everything that i thought while i was in there right when i come out so that i don't lose it right away...like trying to remember a dream right when you wake up.

[Astro]

I feel this way when I'm in motion. On the treadmill, walking, riding my skateboard, or as a passenger in cars. So, I can relate to that fleeting idea that tries its best to escape you like something in a dream.

[LapseOfMind]

Great poem with strong imagery. Very nicely done.

[s y e]

Wow, this was amazing. Your imagery is amazing, and spot on. It's like a movie playing on my screen, well done

~ Noodle.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for your kind words!

[Chris]

I wonder how your eyes reacted as the awareness grew and the thoughts flowed through and coalesced into ...this.

Well toned and imaged...

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you! maybe a future poem will speak about my eyes while i think, great idea. thanks for your kind words!

[Steven]

Yeah. Great.. I could hear the methodical movements, although silent, and the meditative beating of the water, which was almost the only sound, as mere background noise. Somehow the skin and thoughts and hair were loudest. Nice job.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for that insightful review! the water as a backdrop is exactly how i imagined it, only taking the spotlight at the beginning and the end. so thank you very much.

[Pete Langley]

I`m becoming a fan, Dana. After Prokofiev, I honestly expected a slip in standard. Not so. You have a real talent for exploring your subject in depth while still making word music....the essence of all good poetry. Super. P.

[Dana Alsamsam]

this really means a lot to me. thank you so incredibly much for reading and appreciating my writing!

[B-poet]

Intriguing diction backed by eloquent imagery. Nice work. Very well written. :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much!

[Tomahawk Joe]

Once again you've got another good one. I have never read anyone who writes poetry that compels me this much

[Dana Alsamsam]

that means a lot to me! thank you so much for all of your kind reviews and time taken to read my work.