Scenarios

Note: Thoughts of Death

I have thought of my death. 

The first scenario, was in my school

Along the patterned walkway and traffic 

Running to make it to my father, picking us up

In a large white van, dismissible among others

Until a tug of a hair, a blink and eyelash

One misstep unto this colorless street, 

My last careless mistake. 

The second scenario was in foreign land.
After my youth ends and I move to this new

Country, descendants of conquistadors and colonizers

To study the world for an additional four years.
Until a walk down the street alone, the darkness

And looming figures consuming me whole

My blood seeping into cleaner streets

Screams falling death in crisp air

And frail hands reaching for my family 

An entire sea away

The last scenario was of my own doing

Of my own thoughts and angst 

And heartbreak after another 

I do not know how to commit such an act

I don't want to slit my wrists and taking pills would make me wait

I don't want to jump, i'm afraid of heights

But the feeling and want is still there, 

Frighteningly standing near me, and watching 

My last actions on this world

I thought of my death, 

The scenarios

And the aftermath

More than i thought 

Of my own life